iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,375 Blog Posts

SUPER FUCKING BOOLISH

I won’t bother to offer human sentimentality, but today will simply show you what the very intelligent Stocklabs machines are saying about this market.

We are now OVERBOUGHT on our 3 month algorithm, which is the most sensitive of our algos. While I prefer to look upon the 12 mo as a stronger signal — in recent months we’ve gotten zero of them. In its place, as the market adjusted to new realities, the 3 mo has been crushing.

BEHOLD THE PAGEANTRY!

What the fuck does this mean?

We rank stocks on a 1 to 5 scale for both fundamentals, by reading balance sheets and earnings reports, and technicals. The aggregate score is tallied for all stocks and with those scores we produce mean reversion algorithms, in this case the band is stretched far and wide towards OB. Now being overbought doesn’t always mean we’re due to go lower. In many previous instances the OB was the most bullish of signals — because it meant, as a fact, that stocks were strong.

The last time we were OB was Jan 2023, when a series of a dozen plus signals popped off to start the year. Note we only count the first signal in our stats per 10 trading sessions.

The OB kicked off a serious rally in stocks that steamrolled shorts.

The current stats over the past year show just 5 signals at this elevated algorithmic level — but that doesn’t mean there was just two signal. As I mentioned before, we only count 1 signal per 10 days.  On the hybrid score, we have progressed higher 4 out of 5 times when elevated up here.  If you look back in this post at the algo chart, you will also notice the oversold working too on the 3 month.

Bottom line: We are extremely bullish and leveraged +118% long here, confident and comfortable in the AI to invest with a carefree demeanor and possess a candor that is both obnoxious and gratifying to the person in possession of such advanced toolz.

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THE FLY’S AT IT AGAIN

You thought The Fly was finished but then out of nowhere — BAM! — he punches off your eyebrows.

I am getting too old for this shit — but I will once again remind you of my victorious nature — +320bps for the session. Not only that, I actually closed LEVERAGED LONG at +117% equity without a hedge. It appears the retail investor is back and spending is on fire. It also appears the FOMC and Jim Biden have managed the economy with space alien magician authority. We seem to be, if I might say so, barreling towards growth — in spite of all of the headwinds.

How does this happen?

Simple. The marginal guy isn’t important in the big scheme of things. The wealth up top is so extreme, so dramatic, 20% of the workforce can get fired and LULU will still beat earnings thanks to Yoga moms and faggots (happy pride month).

My gains are +35% for the year and I am trading freely again without the constraints of the quant. For those belly laughing at my shit talking in light of me yesterday being suicidal due to losses — FUCK OFF.

In all seriousness, I really do deserve more. Think about how nice of a person I am and the charity which I provide to people and then compound that over my entire lifespan to date and really think about my +35% in the larger context of earned success. Look at me blogging to myself and a few stragglers from 2009, 3 times per day, every day, since 2007: that my friends is commitment on par with insanity. I could be doing other things, much more profitably — but I choose to come out here and toil day in and day out.

Also, inside Stocklabs, I provide members with white gloved service — the epitome of generosity and kindness.

At any rate, time for me to fuck off and play some pickled ball with some vodka in the sports container.

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I’M BACK

Yesterday’s foray into pain caused me great anguish, as the Gods toyed with me to let me know they were still in charge. But today is a different story entirely. As many of you languish and struggle against the current, “The Fly” is speed boating fastidiously and throwing rocks at the people on the shore — hoping to hit one in the head at the same time one of my stocks halts trading for upside surprise activity.

I stand before you vindicated, +300bps.

I have many irons in the fire and I am certain you think you do too; but you don’t, believe me.

Life is like an oyster. Some of us produce pearls of wisdom and others simply get sucked out of his shell and into the mouths of some loser in Long Island — washed down with swill.

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Exercising Futility

This is your daily reminder that 7 stocks making up $8 trillion in market capitalization has returned 75% YTD and is the preferred investment mode over any hedge fund in the world.

I destroyed myself today and knew it would happen. I had one chance at reversing my plight and instead of seizing upon the moment, I felt entitled and got greedy and was annihilated into the close. The market crested at session highs at the very moment I bought my last stock. I closed DOWN 2.14% for the day. Disgusted with myself, I kept every single position and opted not to flip out of them to remind myself of my abject stupidity. I will undoubtedly awaken to another DOWN 2% at the open and then take the entire month attempting to get back to 0%.

OR, I can just buy FANNGT stocks and fuck off forever.

So what exactly happened today?

Well, it’s simple. I capitulated with my SQQQ position near session highs and this event caused an avalanche of sellers to get aggressive into the close. Knowing I was fully leveraged long, these sellers targeted my stocks and drilled them lower.

Unbeknownst to them, I don’t give a fuck. The entire account can zero out and I wouldn’t give a shit. I’ll never remove the money from the market, so it’ll have no bearing on my already spartan lifestyle.

After the close one of my positions, MDB, beat and is soaring. Big fucking deal.

 

 

 

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BOGGED ON THE FIRST DAY OF JUNE

I am a trading fool. Should I even bother to explain my day? I think I will.

I started off nailed to the cross with OKTA down 20%. I had other SAAS stocks down in sympathy so I cleaned house and bulked up on my SQQQ and was down only 0.9%. I then went on a series of trades, whilst holding a 30% SQQQ position — going 20 for 20 at one point like a trading Merlin — but only reducing my losses to 0.45% because of the fucking CUNT SQQQQ.

Then I shed some luck and caught a few bad salmon — but the fucking SQQQ continued lower and I closed it out for a monstrous 3.9% loss and now stand before you down 1.2% on a day with stocks up 1.5%.

What else can I say, other than I am a terrible trader and make poor decisions. I should delete my account and fuck off for the rest of eternity for mucking up today. I do not deserve to ever trade again. I should just buy slices from Schwab and work as a fucking Target store decorator in the tranny department with the other CATAMITES.

By the way, happy pride day to all of my faggot readers out there.

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MAY IS IN THE BOOKS

The SPY gained less than 1%, while the IWM shed almost 1% and the NASDAQ gained nearly 8%. It was a month filled with large cap tech breakouts, reminiscent of a time and place when homos led Wall Street. But all of that is over now and with it comes June. We’re already off to a miserable start with downside action to be rued in AI, CRM and OKTA.

My trading account gained 1.74% for May, while the quant was down 1.9%.

At the mid-point of the year, the quant is up around 1% and my trading is +32%.

But June wasn’t all shits and giggles. If not for the semis, the results would have been far different.

For example:

Apparel -13.5%
Auto Parts -13%
Discount stores -16%
Chinese burritos -12%
Ag -11.5%
Oil -10%
Chems -9.6%
Industrial Metal -9%
Copper -7%

On the whole, basic materials were DOWN 6%, consumer goods -5%, Utes -5% etc. According to Stocklabs, ALL stocks were down in the magnitude of 3% for June, so not exactly the banner month the major indices pointed to.

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HARD SAAS COLLAPSE IN THE AFTER HOURS FOLLOWING A SERIES OF RETARDED EARNINGS RESULTS

GOOD DAY!

I hope you had a pleasant trading affair today for tomorrow I shall be entreated to outsized losses as soon as markets prevail upon me. Before the close, I felt it was wise to load up on a series of SAAS stocks — believing the warmer climes would magically transfix these nerd infested companies into winners. I was woefully wrong with that presumption and now suffer losses in the after hours.

It started with OKTA and now ZS and RNG. I am basically surrounded by losses with darts flying everywhere at my person in an attempt to slew me. I was down 68bps for the session and am lower by another 98bps in the AHs. I have a 10% SQQQ hedge which will do little to no good against the backdrop of these SAAS motherfuckers spiraling to zero and beyond.

To be honest, I had it coming. I went on a two week vacation to Europe and didn’t lose any money. As a matter of fact, I made money in markets whilst traversing the Louvre and other such places. I am now settled firmly into my office and squeezed for my blood by the markets for the sin of belief. I believed the nerds could post BETTER THAN EXPECTED results, the same way they might’ve felt in High School they could win at dodge ball.

In the end, I lost and I will lament these losses over spartan meal this evening — playing these events over in my head and wondering if I chose a different path would my losses be perhaps less than 1% this evening?

ALSO, I remain 10% weighted in CARL FUCK YOU ICAHN’S IEP and eagerly await his revenge.

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Summer Doldrums Looms

Hello fuckers —

It appears trading from the gym isn’t always a good idea. I am now down 1.05% amidst the smallish rally we have going on which has laid waste to my LABD/UVIX hedges. I am not sure about what I might do — but I am pretty sure I am committed to lower prices for stocks.

The weather is beginning to get balmy and the cocaine pink. The satanic order of America is enjoying their killings and subsequent crimes and there is a general malaise over Sodom.

I just interrupted myself from writing this blog to buy myself a basket of SAAS stocks for the summer. I will probably sell them inside 15 mins should they go up 1%; but it’s fun to pretend.

Not much else to discuss. We have a war going and Russia isn’t very scary with their words anymore. I suppose if Russia was to, let’s say, carpet bomb Poland or Germany — that might get the VIX levels elevated. However, the Medvedev threats to England just aren’t cutting it anymore. It’s a bit of a conundrum for Moscow — having to decide whether to initiate a war against NATO for NATO’s involvement into Ukraine. If Russia does bomb Poland and start a war, they are almost assuredly going to face a very hard war. If they continue to play this faggot game of pretending, they’ll be killing Ukrainian soldiers for the next 30 years. The Zelensky scammers want no part of Russian peace deals and are very happy to spend Ukrainian lives in order to remain in power. If Zelensky lost power then America would lose their grip on Ukraine and I believe that’s not part of the deal Blinken gave Zelensky. So, we are in a quagmire, you can call it revenge for Russia’s involvement in both the Korean and Vietnam wars — when they provided America’s enemies with weapons and support in the same manner we are doing so now.

Should America prevail against Russia now, we will have a thousand years of GLOBOHOMO to enjoy in all of its transvestite splendor.

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Let’s Pretend

Fellow internet travelers —

Do worry scorn yourselves for the many disasters looming not too far in the background. Instead, like on Wall Street, I propose that you pretend all is well and invest accordingly. If you only would stop consuming news and not looking at what goes on around you — why — you could then live happily and perhaps imbibe yourselves until sleepy. You must be getting awfully tired of all the news, breathing the world through your in house COVID masks. Look at the shares of NVDA, soaring to the highest of heights — now worth over a trillion bucks!

How?

NVDA once made memory chips and then moved quickly gaming, and then into Bitcoin mining chips, and now into AI chips. If the next trend is coming, AI will know about it and NVDA will be there to stomp the faces of the people working at Intel.

I am off to a rough start, down 50bps to start the session. I was distracted by an early dog walk but will now focus really really hard and will myself to profit! I got the idea from a magazine I read on my wife’s side table. It stated, and I am paraphrasing here, in order to achieve some sort of greatness of achievement — all you have to do is manifest it through positive thought!

I shall do so at once.

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LET’S GO UNCLE CARL

I have a 10% position in IEP now and will hope that before Carl dies and ventures off to his new deal — he will enact some sort of scheme to fuck the people betting against him in one last gambit for the ages. I could see him tendering an offer for IEP to take it private out of pure spite. To think that this Wall Street legend ends up bested by some catamite writing a doomsday letter called HINDENBURG is an anathema to me. The good guys always win and those who feed off the large sharks like Carl will be dispatched in kind.

I finished the session +130bps, down from 2.5% after some volatility rocked my positions mid-day. I feel, and I sense, that I deserve more.

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