18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,536 Blog Posts

Why Didn’t You Just Buy Bitcoin?

Now with Charlie Munger out of the way, pray tell — why the fuck did you not buy Bitcoin? You’ve bought everything in the world BUT Bitcoin and it’s the one asset which proved to be both defensive and a risk on asset. This asset I speak of, mostly likely used for International money laundering, is +127% for 2023. What else has achieved such heights?

The oil markets are in fucking ruins. Biotech is an absolute clown show. The banks nearly shit themselves earlier in the year and if it weren’t for bailouts — we’d have no banking system right now.

As far as I can tell, the only real outperformers this year was $BTC and large cap tech. But how comfortable do you feel with $AAPL into the teeth of a recession?

On the other hand, how comfortable do you feel about said recession going global causing central banks to further debase their currencies, causing CAPITAL FLIGHT in China — providing fresh buyers for $BTC?

At this point, you should give up on the notion that just Bitcoin is a scam. Sir – if you haven’t been paying attention — everything is a scam. It’s all relative and relatively speaking — Bitcoin is less of a scam than say the 2020 earnings for Pfizer and Zoom.

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Not My Tape

Real psycho action this morning.

Rates are sharply higher. Why they’re higher remains to be seen. Maybe just because.

Oil is knee jerking up and I get it.

The Dow and small caps are higher but the NASDAQ is lower led by big tech. I don’t get this, especially after $CRM and $SNOW beat.

VIX is up but $UVIX is down, naturally. The persons who made the VIXA ETFs should be arrested and executed. No trial needed.

I covered the wrong hedge this morning and have TZA left, much to my chagrin. I’m down 60bps and don’t think I’ll make it back today. We’re likely to trade slow and sloppy. I’m better off trading less in a tape like today, where oil is the star. Often times when oil or crypto miners are up early, they fall prey to sellers throughout the day and cascade the fuck lower.

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What is the absolute worst case scenario for a trader? Is it an earnings miss when long some calls? Is it shorting when spiking and buying when tanking — bad timing? Well for me the absolute bane of trading is entering the arena a success and leaving a loser. It’s akin to standing over your enemy in triumph, turning your back to celebrate with the crowd, only to see said enemy rise up and cut your face in half.

I’ve had innumerable days like that in my trading career and they’ve always made me feel the absolute worst. Since I am a deeply empathetic person, I feel everything orders of magnitudes more than you, the unwashed reader.

I had a vision today with me sitting in front of my laptop, harangued by losses after some early wins. It started to manifest itself mid-day as markets broke lower. I was leveraged long and up 240bps for the session, mostly arrogant and unperturbed by the chaos unfolding around me. But then the market worsened, taking some of my gains with it.

I watched in disbelief as +240bps melted into +200bps and then +190bps and then +150bps and then +130bps — causing me to quickly hedge to stop the bleeding and then reflect.

I thought to myself “If I stepped into today and made 1.3% — would I be happy?”

The answer was of course yes.

I then asked “if I allowed these losses mount to the point I lost all gains — how would I feel?”

It would likely send me into a weeks long trading slump, so I did the mature thing and liquidated all of my longs, closed half my shorts at a profit and waited for 10 mins to the close to positions into tomorrow.

In the end, I closed up 148bps, net short and with a defensive book, which can be amended quickly at the open tomorrow. After the bell both $CRM and $SNOW beat — so barring some bullshit calls — it looks like the NASDAQ will surge ahead tomorrow.

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Risk is Indelibly On

I took the morning off after slam dunking the sports ball into the hoop. I stand before you stoic, a statue of excellence +227bps. I am in a 100% cash position for my trading, as I gaze at meme stocks jerking higher. It is a RISK ON environ and if you got caught short, you have only yourselves to blame. I did warn you.

Look here pal.

My portfolio is empty, just like your head. Do I get tired of doing this, boasting about my exploits after so many years doing this? Absolutely not. This is like my first day blogging, demonstrating my YTD returns of +55% against the backdrop of your refusal to accept your own stupidity.

DO NOT WORRY — things can still turn around for you. The fastest way to do that is to delegate, attach to me like a small chum fish on a white shark. I never lose and when I do lose it’s mostly on purpose just to feel something.

At any rate, I ought to head back to the olde coal mines again to jerk out another 50bps from this market. Or, perhaps I’ll take another 100bps. It all depends on how I feel and how much I want to make.

See you fuckers at the close.

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I am not afraid — never have been. I leaned into the market with all of my vigor and leveraged the fuck up long 130% in stocks that have no business being in a portfolio of a gentleman. My portfolio beta stands at 2.16, which means at the onset of trading tomorrow I’ll either be richly rewarded and insufferable in victory, or miserably whipped at the gibbet — downtrodden and alone.

Either way, I’ve made sport of my avocation and made +128bps in flawless trading today — inspired, truthfully, by the pin action in BUY NOW AND PAY NEVER stalwart $AFRM. I do believe we are in a momentum oriented tape and I do believe this will extend into tomorrow’s trade. I cannot promise you anything more than that, in regards to the market.

As for me, I can promise you excellence on par with no one, the pinnacle of trading success. What this success has done for my life remains to be seen. I suppose I’ve made some money and some friends along the way. But that’s a subject matter for another day.

What’s important for today is for me to tell you that I deserve more, entitled even — gifts bestowed upon me by celestial powers, emblazoned ideas curated by the Gods placed directly into my head so I can come here now and talk shit to you. It’s all very amusing, if you think about it.

All trades are discussed and announced in real time inside the comforts of Stocklabs. Quit being catamites and join today, became the man your Father always wanted you to become — tall, rich, and strong.

Fucking off for now — ciao.

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The Bull Case for Stocks

They just don’t go down. American culture, as pervasively toxic as it is is mirrored and parroted by most western nations and looked up to by many eastern people. Our military preserves the status quo and although the leadership class are inflicting punitive measures on its people by importing their replacements and attempting to dumb down the median IQ — stocks simply do not care.

See when you only view things through the prism of money, which many people do, societal degradation is easy to ignore. Hey, I’m doing well who care about Joe Blow in Ohio. The doomsayers will point to all of the things I just said and believe “collapse is imminent.” This is plain narcissism talking. We can have up stocks and societal collapse at the same damn time. In order to realize a crisis point we’d need to see the strains in the financial and consumer sectors — and we have just not endured enough looting to make that a reality.

Delinquencies for student loans, autos, homes, and general consumption just aren’t at levels to cause worry over. On top of that, inflation has abated and growth seem just fine, unfortunately. I’d love nothing more than to provide you with bad news — but the only bad news I have for you is that there isn’t any.

Let’s review three things:

A look at small cap, large cap trends — and tech scores of the biggest companies per sector in Stocklabs (supporting Le Fly is joining not reading this for free you miserly piece of shits).

Small caps: good

Large Caps: excellent

Tech scores range from 1 (terrible) to 5 (flawless) with 3+ being good.


TECH 2.58
UTES 3.04

A cursory look here would suggest defensive areas of the market are leading. But this isn’t exactly true today.

Here is our proprietary volume delta screen, which measures volume by the minute pro-rated over 30 days to highlight spikes.

It seems, and I could always be proven wrong, things are just about to heat up now and bust loose. Look at those risk on names.

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Small Craps Again

Hey gold is above $2,000 now, something the goldbugs have been waiting for since 2018. Well you finally made it, morons. Congrats.

Market response is limited today with a bias to the DOWNSIDE but I am not moved. I am unmoored in my obstinance and added to my longs, now 110% LEVERAGED LONG with a penchant for pain. Maybe if I lose some money today I’ll feel something and it can motivate me to do really great tomorrow.

Aw shucks — markets legged down just when I wrote that — penning me in down 75bps for the session. Breadth is 42% and there isn’t much to love early going. But come on now, give it an hour and we’ll be lifting up again — since we really can’t help it.

Before I go, here’s an interesting graphic for you to peruse.

Looking at that would lead anyone to guess we’re, at some point, doomed. But I rather like the idea of American supremacy, laying waste to everyone and all. I am finishing up a book now on Imperial Japan and it’s a terrible thing what we did to the Japanese, uneven combat against a literal death cult of people intent on dying in the war as opposed to winning it.

Don’t die in the market plebs — win in it.

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I spent the day becoming what I hated most — a transgendered bull. I bought all sorts of stocks, cavorted amongst like minded folk — felt a sense of gratitude for Joe Biden for providing Americans with the “4th cheapest Thanksgiving meal on record” and felt genial to the broadcasters on CNBC spewing meaningless markets propaganda.

It suits me well, being very long and bullish. I reminds me of the olden days when I’d wake up, spring out from bed, and buy stocks until my fingers hurt. On sell offs I’d buy more, leverage into my accounts to the max and just sit and wait for markets to turn around and they always did. I was amply rewarded for my loyalty, except for the one time markets collapsed and never came back. For that, I zeroed the fuck out and went back to the poorhouse again to start anew.

But that isn’t going to happen this time, as I am much smarter, better equipped, seasoned even, to deal with the pangs of market volatility.

Some of my bearish colleagues are quite disturbed by my bullish ways and have attempted to intervene on my behalf. They tell me “Fly don’t be tricked. The market is going to crash suddenly and all will be lost.” When I hear this sort of rabble out from the mouths of morons, I feel a sense of gratitude for not being them.

I will do as I like when I prefer to do it.

At the end of the day, this is all very trivial for me — colossus waste of time. What am I achieving here? Trading stocks is akin to playing a video game and to be good at a video game isn’t exactly a life of achievement and honor. I am a mere speculator, second rate at best, squandered the best years of my life behind a computer in search of truth. The truth is — this is all fucking stupid retarded bullshit.

I makes the money. They takes the money. I makes more money. They takes more money. It’s a giant circle jerk of monumental proportions and yet I cannot stop doing it — most likely because it’s an addiction.

How wonderful.

Time to fuck off now. See you catamites tomorrow.

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The US 10yr is down another 9bps. Natty and oil are crushing lower. The markets are not crashing. And, the dollar is down nearly 3% in the past month. All of this suggests a somewhat calm atmosphere for equity holders. I am sure there are many shoes to drop and are looming heavily in the balance. But we must admit when things looks good — otherwise our words lose meaning when things are truly bad.

I am 80% long into the close and optimistic for stocks to severe the heads of many bears. I have shifted my allegiance according to an evolutionary desire to survive. For those still mangled in their short positions waiting for resolution, just know that your sacrifice is appreciated and your cause was just. You’re just too stupid to figure out how to pivot; ergo, natural selection tossed you broadside.

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Retailers Breathe a Sigh of Relief as Looting Comes in Less Than Expected

Perhaps they were busy trying new marijuana blunts or sipping on some malted liquor whilst watching the foolsball game. But for whatever reason, retailers were spared the rope this BLACKENED FRIDAY WEEKEND, where companies like Target pretended to have items on discount but they were actually the same exact price as ordinary Thursday.

Nevertheless, the shoppers did their duty and stacked up more credit card debt to purchase new toasters and vacuums. There was one small looting event of note — this one in LOS ANGELES — modern day Sodom.

But what is $12,000 for a giant billion dollar retailer like Nike anyway? Mere seashells. They’ll drive their Vietnamese labor force to work extra hours for even less pay and reneg on shipping contracts and raise prices in affluent areas to make up the difference. People are CLAMORING for the new Nike Air Jordan’s — because they too want to be like Mike and slam the ball into the hoop and win the game!

Markets are sanguine in the face of the news, mildly higher and retailers are standing out. Like I said, a sigh of relief is being displayed today.

In more important news, in his way, Putin told the world the American LUNAR FUCKING LANDING was a fraud. What say you?

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