iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,359 Blog Posts

My $IQ Has Stabilized at 34

Yesterday my IQ was fucking soaring. I had everyone inside Exodus shitting their pantaloons thinking about all of the money to be enjoyed. Early this morning, it looked like it could go either way. Now I’m readily convinced my IQ will stabilize at around 34.

Some believe my IQ can get as high as 100, mainly because they’re “the Chinese Netflix.” But I tend to not think too hard about those predictions and instead focus, rather intently, on the short term. Impulsive, base, even craven thoughts permeate my psyche on a second my second basis — me against the world, destroying enemies, yada, yada, yada.

Meanwhile, Russia is being charged, once again, with hacking the elections. Rosenstein has indicted a dozen Russians and blamed their military for the victory of a certain Donald J. Trump.

Who’s looking forward to the 2020 elections!?

At any rate, my portfolio is down almost 100bps today and that’s quite all right, considering it was up 500bps yesterday. I’m flush out of cash, nothing but a tinned pot and happy memories to help me get by now, so say hello when you see me and if possible toss a few wooden nickels my way.

I’m awfully hungry and somewhat thirsty.

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Happy Friday the 13th

Prepare for a grisly affair, one way or another.

As a child in school, my friends and I used to make a big deal of Friday the 13th, always harking back to the days when Jason from the fictional movie, Friday the 13th, ax murdered all those people. We’d scare the girls into thinking Jason was gonna get them, for reasons now I do not know. Something was wrong with me then, just like something is wrong with me now. I can’t stop making money. Believe me, I try to lose — position myself into hazards that could potentially wipe me out, yet here I am — standing before you victorious.

Stock futures are flat, thanks to some weak bank earnings. Nevertheless, I fully expect there to be magnificent celebratory happenings today.

Let me go fetch myself a boiling hot hot cup of black coffee and then we’ll start trading.

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I HAVE NO MORE MONEY — FRESH OUT — CHEERS TO THE PROFESSIONALS

After today’s market activity of unbridled buying, I’m fresh out of dollars. I have nothing left, a peasant amongst thieves and scoundrels.

Won’t you loan me some of yours so that I can purchase more stocks?

It’s so great living without fear, knowing full well that tomorrow all of my holdings will press higher, producing fresh nectar for me to drink. I’m quite thirsty and require a good bit of nectar.

In the after-hours session, Dow futures are +50, Nasdaq +17 — paving the way for yet another fun filled day of speculation.

Why, just yesterday I posited the question of whether or not we were pricing in a 2019 recession, with Utes and bonds leading. But today everything is fine and my triple upside position in IQ made me feel quite good, warm, and safe. The market is often a cold place, unforgiving and antagonistic. But this market is kind, gentle, and generous.

If you’re not making coin in this tape, you’re plainly retarded — and that’s ok. Come inside Exodus and let me show you how professionals deal with such tapes.

Cheers to the professionals!

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500 BASIS POINTS

I just dropped a mic on you clown-fuckers. All of my enemies have been dispatched today. I now endeavor to cultivate a new generation of Fly haters, young men who think they know more and then find themselves coerced into feckless online battles with me, only to get dispatched in time.

When you’re long gone and the trees are old and the grass is worn, I’ll still be here conducting these battles for the internet to see and bear witness. My immortal person lives on throughout these haunted halls, ebbing and flowing through the soap opera called the stock market — making my mark in a very humble and careful way.

On this day, July the 12th, 2018, Le Fly pulled off another caper and gained an astounding 500 bps on his actively traded account.

All that is important and worthwhile in this crazy market can been seen in real time inside the hallowed confines of Exodus. I must be heading out now — geared for a very dry champagne with a special recipe on my mind.

Top picks: IQ, NEW, MDB

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My $IQ is Super Higher — About to Jimmy Higher

Consider this a triple upside play on IQ, the ‘Chinese Netflix.’

This is my third purchase of IQ, making this a 15% sized position — my largest position to date. My cash is gone, as I am 100% long — full tilting sideways into the rapidly moving blades of high risk trading.

I have no fear — because I am invincible. I create my own destiny and the stock Gods are complete trash. I piss on them, all day, every day.

Fade me — see what happens faggots.

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UNSTOPPABLE MOMENTUM — COME GET RAN OVER

I bought some DBX with a well defined downside stop at $30. Everything I envisioned for myself turned to fruition today. I’m literally rolling over fat lazy sloths with my car — especially bearshitters who fretted over ridiculous things such as ‘trade wars.’

Look at how stupid you all are, missing out on a +200 short squeeze annihilation.

There is nothing you can do — the horse is out of the barn and he’s kicking people in the face now — unstoppable beast with hooves as hard as granite.

Look you, I just bagged an +18% intra-day win on AMBO, going bananas on this IQ on a doubled sized position. Other stocks that I own going ape: RNG, MDB, SMAR, RPD, ROKU, TWOU, PDS etc.

It’s fucking funny, really — you thinking competition is something I concern myself with.

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Sold $AMBO; Bought $NEW

I’m circling back to all of my previous winners — going back to the old well. These are small positions because the degeneracy on these stocks is high. I booked the AMBO trade, in the process taking an 18% intra-day profit.

Now I sashayed hard into NEW (no homo), with the hopes and dreams of repeating a former glory.

Conservatively, I’d like to see NEW jimmy higher to $25, by late this afternoon.

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MARKETS BUST LOOSE; I BOUGHT A NEW L$AMBO

I told you it was impossible to stop me. Now I’m up more than 200bps for the day, about to get aggressive. I already knew this shit would happen. I positioned myself for a hedonistic move to the upside, led higher by SAAS. My oil bets are participating too and will continue to do so, because the destiny of winship is mine.

Feeling eager and filled with verve, I stepped in here and about a L$AMBO.

Look at how dumb you all are for being on the sidelines, like losers. Go ahead and sit back, relax, and eat some popped corn and watch Le Fly kill it. You can live vicariously thru me, since you’re not man enough to do it yourselves.

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Pre-Work Out Thoughts About the Market: The Ark Awaits

I like to visit the gym late night, when the criminals and the scoundrels are out and about. I’m busy during evenings now because I fashion myself to be a culinary expert now and have taken to the knife with extreme vigor as of late. Most of you man-fags believe grilling a steak and mashing some potatoes is cooking. That’s because you’re uncultured swine, undeserving of my knife. You’re better off eating from a Shake Shack establishment than messing with any good ingredients in the kitchen.

On the issue of stocks, the top performing industry over the past month is Diversified Utilities. That’s like the conservative wing of the most staid industry on the planet. Now if you couple this with the expeditious tightening of the yield curve, due to the Trump trade wars, one starts to believe the market is trying to price in recession for 2019.

If that’s the case, then we must all board the ark, long TLT — because only a few humans and animals are worth saving during the next economic recession. The Fed will implode, circle jerk around old numbers, cease to even contemplate the idea of hiking rates. Globally, bonds will be in vogue again — stockFAGS will be unmercifally beat down and destroyed, festooned across Wall Street with their tongues hanging out of their exhausted faces.

“The Fly” was born for such occasions and will be ready to lead when the time comes.

Meanwhile, off to the gym I go — heavily long and awaiting renewed parlous spirits of gauche hedonism.

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I’M AN OIL M…

My carcass has been tossed into the dog feed pile. My bones disintegrated into dust. But my memories live and very soon I will resurrect (extra Jesus) like the Phoenix bird and grab all of you with my talons and kill you all. I will feast on your guts and carve random symbols into your skulls.

I am going to have my vengeance, in this life time, not the next.

There’s a lot of working theories on how I keep messing up oil trades, stemming from ‘he hasn’t the faintest idea what he’s doing’ to ‘he’s doing it on purpose to make himself look human. The Fly is a fucking programmable master robot in charge of this entire simulation called life.’

Whatever the case may be, rest assured, I am going to preside over higher share prices soon.

Good day.

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