Long Live Wall Street Fat Cats

Greed is so good I can almost taste it. It sort of tastes like molten chocolate cake, mixed with raspberry jelly— topped off with lots of powered sugar.

Developing…

About a year ago, “The Fly” started shorting stocks, with high hopes of a banking meltdown. It was fun back then because we weren’t really melting down. I made truckloads of coin shorting a variety of banks, including BSC, Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. [[LEH]], Washington Mutual, Inc. [[WM]] , and being long [[SKF]] . It was the beginning stages of crisis and there were so many bullish fucktards to destroy: I thought it made sense to bet against popular wisdom. As a result, I was not only right, but exactly right. However, assholes, as everything falls apart in real time, it’s not that funny anymore.

Now, don’t kid yourself for one second. The stooges you read or see on the internet are talking their books, as I am. Believe me, if I were still short, I’d be calling for the blockage of the “bailout” too. I switched my position from perma bear to retardo bull because I felt it was time to fucking shred the losers who relish in the destruction of America.

I love this cesspool and would manslaughter a few hundred thousand people to prove it.

These “skull fuckers” I speak of are not interested in rebuilding America. They want the whole fucking system to come down, in order to make a few bullshit dollars in the market. Regular Macabres, they are.

Some people are afraid of depression and anarchy. Well, let me just say, without massive government intervention, you will get your depression and more. The bill HAS TO PASS— not because it’s good, but necessary. The market is expecting action. Without it, everything collapses.

Put aside your market bias: do you really want that to happen? If so, I have a few Brooklyn “fuck yoos” for you.

Once the government has control of the housing market, via buying the notes, they will be able to renegotiate terms and keep people in their bullshit homes. When able to reduce market supply, economics 101 dictates that demand will catch up— and prices will begin to rise again.

Look, I am no economist. I only play one on the internet. However, I know the market better than any of you morons out there. I am sure there is plenty of money to make on the downside, specifically in industrial and stupid ‘global growth’ plays. But, for now, it’s time for the government cheese makers to step up large and take down a trillion dollars of dicey assets.

Once they do that, confidence will return to the market place and Armageddon will be taken off the table. After all, with all the egregiously armed criminals in this country, you don’t really want chaos, do you?

Be careful for what you ask for.

NOTE: All of you internet lovers, who are appalled by the bailout and are pleading with Congress to toss the idea into the toilet, are stark raving mad. Absolutely mentally ill, certifiable.

Sorry, I had to say that. Unbelievable melt down, two years in a row.

Fucking losers.

UPDATE: The Mets do not suck. As a matter of fact, the Yankees suck and the Mets will win the World Series.

In other news, get your philosophy on with the Krullster.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfFXKxSFmOo&feature=related 450 300]

The stock Gods always bless “The Fly” with egregious gifts of stock market wins, while also punishing him with brutal late season NY Mets collapses.

I made my bed; now I will lay in it.

I am loaded to the gills in Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , [[UYG]] , Walter Industries, Inc. [[WLT]] , Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] , [[ROM]] , Synovus Financial Corp. [[SNV]] and other equally insane names.

Added to the mix is Wachovia Corporation [[WB]] , [[UYM]] and Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] .

In short, the credit markets are throwing everything into flux—from farms to cars to banks. It is essential that Congress passes some version of the Paulson corporate welfare plan, else all hell will break loose.

Remember, “The Fly” wins all the time, even when he appears to be losing badly.

NOTE: My largest position is C.

I bought 10,000 Wachovia Corporation [[WB]] @ $8.80.

UPDATE: I bought another 5,000 @ $8.58.

UPDATE: I bought 2,000 Walter Industries, Inc. [[WLT]] @ $49.88, 2,000 [[ROM]] @ $46.58 and 1,000 Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] @ $70.92

UPDATE: I bought 3,000 [[UYM]] @ $50.14

Disclaimer: If you buy any of the above because of this post, this will happen:

Fuck all this talk of insolvency. It’s very boring when it’s actually happening, as opposed to it being a virtual concept, if you know what I mean.

It’s sort of like how I get all happy and shit when Steve (my neighbor) loses money in his 401k plan, but feel bad for him when he comes to my house for a cup of rice.

Instead of getting all “emo” and shit, regarding the pending death of America, “The Fly” will do the patriotic thing and buy Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , as if my head was attached to my balls.

And, with regards to coal: I will make believe it is not down today. Yeah, that makes sense. Walter Industries, Inc. [[WLT]] is actually up $6, as idiots from China add coking coal to their baby formula recipe.

In short, this cannot be the end of our moronic financial system. There are so many people left to rip off. My money is on “goldilocks” and her whorish ways being able to infect another generation of plasma loving malcontents.

Top picks: Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , [[UYG]]

Commodities are being blown out. I am “enjoying” large losses in Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] , Walter Industries, Inc. [[WLT]] and Peabody Energy Corporation [[BTU]] . That’ll learn me for fucking around with speculative commodities.

Hey, at least gold is going higher.

The good news is, most banks are holding up well, with exception to the one I own: Citigroup Inc. [[C]] .

Some of you may misconstrue that to be awful news for me, and it is. However, I try not to think about losses so early in the morning. I will hold off my usual inter-office violence for the end of the day, when all hope is lost.

You must admit, the staggering losses in the coal sector is rather unseemly. A well deserved deballing I suppose, coming from the claws of that bitch: Mother Market.

I could rattle off a bunch of strategies worth applying, but why bother? Let’s just all camp out around the tube and wait for Congress to save us.

In the meantime, I am booking a 3rd class flight to Romania, where I will spend the rest of my life tending to goats and fields of rapeseed.

What the fuck is wrong with our ‘fearless leaders’? Don’t they know 75% of this country is littered with illiterate rubes who don’t know the difference between a bank and a banana? To the average main street, blue collar, idiot, it makes zero sense to give ‘their money’ to a banana. Hell, they would much rather prefer a nice big fucking stimulus check, so that they can go buy a new plasma.

So, on top of all the bullshit congress has put us through, over the last 10 years, now they feel it’s imperative to play a losers game of financial chicken with Wall Street, because the fucking factory workers in Pennsylvania think “those fat cats” from Wall Street “outta go to jail.”

Okay, how about this, Mr. Joey Bag o’ Donuts:

Your credit lines have been canceled. Your daughters student loan has been canceled. Your filthy factory, due to their lines of credit being turned off, has to fire you, in order to stay afloat. Now that you are unemployed, you need to tap your 401k plan to live, while you are in between jobs. Oh, sorry, the value of your retirement account is down 60%, because that “fucking bailout for those Wall Street honchos” failed. And, finally, your local grocery store just got shut down, due to lack of liquidity.

Become a farmer you stupid bastard. To hell with those Wall Street ‘fat cats.’

The only reason why we are not down 2,000 points is because investors cannot fathom the idea that Congress would actually allow the market to crash. Believe me, without a bailout, I am 100% certain we will crash.

Here’s the rub:

If you try to get in front of congressional idiocy and sell short here, there is a distinct possibility that a deal may be agreed upon over the weekend, effectively burying you alive in shorts. In other words, my position is to remain long and pray to the Gods that no one pays attention to low IQ’ers on main street.

It’s riddled with morons.

Fuck you very much John McCain and your mentally ill ways.

There is no need to give any of you financial advice any longer. The end is near; prepare for an unglorious death, via Congressional diktat.

Oh, the irony.

In other newz, Microvision, Inc. [[MVIS]] really needs to get on the do not short list. And, go buy some guns and ammo; because America is going to be like Mad Maxx, the sequel, very soon.

However, be sure to get out there and vote for “your guy” on November 4th.