Thud!

We got ourselves a good ol’ fashioned sell off, trimmed with extraordinary declines and superfluous anxiety.

What to do? Shall we all drop our luggage and run for safety, inside our local subway stations? Or, should we man the anti-aircraft batteries, in an valiant effort to shoot down some beatshitters, littering the skies with their stench?

The dollar is racing higher, as bozos with very large noses and big boots throw it all into gold stocks. No offense to gold bugs; but you are so obvious and very, very lame.

My game plan, with my money, is to endure hits, while eating snacks. Since I am into eating healthy now, I will nosh on some fucking wheat germ or bee pollen nibblets and lose money like a fucking man. What do you think the stock market is supposed to be easy? This shit is hard, cocksuckers.

At any rate, I have things to do, separate from my internet duties. With my 15% cash position, I will buy the dips, whenever The PPT tells me to. I have my own robots doing the heavy lifting for me.

The blind morons from NYC (pun intended), who have been making millions off of people getting cancer, via egregious excise taxes, have decided to declare sugary treats (soda, candy etc.) sinful. In an amazing broad daylight mugging, Governor Patterson is raising taxes on cigarettes, by another buck, and adding something new to this years sales tax: 1 cent tax per ounce of soda. How fucking quaint of him.

If local governments continue to abuse their powers via an authoritarian taxing system, people are going to say “fuck you asshole” and throw their coca-cola bottles into the East River, not too much different than the Boston Tea Party. I get it; people are fat and they need to eat healthier. But taxing soda is not going to put broccoli in the faces of America’s obese.

PepsiCo, Inc. [[PEP]] and The Coca-Cola Company [[KO]] have to be sells on this sort of news. If they are going to get the Phillip Morris treatment, next thing you know, the government will sue them for hospital expenses, for treating uninsured fat fuckers.

On a positive note, NYS wants more wine consumption, in order to make more tax revenue. So, they have decided to let grocery stores sell wine. How nice of them.

Just to recap.

Soda: bad

Wine: good

Cigarettes: so very bad. But, an excellent revenue generator.

Zing, zooom, CRASH. SHAZAMMM!!!

Good night.

I made so much money today; I feel dirty. I walk around, looking at the commoners, and I ALMOST feel sorry for them. The truth of the matter is, some people are destined for greatness, while others are stuck planting bushes on some losers property. Don’t hate me because I am better than you; I was built better.

Some of my positions include: POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , [[CBD]] , Wimm-Bill-Dann Foods OJSC (ADR) [[WBD]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] , U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , Masco Corporation [[MAS]], ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] and TEKELEC [[TKLC]] —just to name a few.

The market shall break out above 11,000 Dow and there is nothing you or your moronic friends can do about it. Expect to see plenty of guide ups, during this earnings season, sans banks and retarded companies (of course).

Short sellers must have brain cancer to be stubborn enough to have open shorts here. NOTHING brings the market down and NOTHING can stop this psychopath market from marching higher, apparently so. Last week I took some of my chips off the table, by way of selling some stocks to raise some cash. In hindsight, THAT was a bad idea. But life is all about making HORRENDOUS ideas, laughing at them, then doing stuff to correct said actions.

However, in my case, I will accept overreaching cautiousness, in return for peace of mind. I am up 15% inside of 3 weeks and there is nothing wrong with taking the foot off the pedal—so there.

My top pick, right here, right now, is TEKELEC [[TKLC]] . The stock is a play on text messaging for the AT&T Inc. [[T]] network, as they are the largest supplier of signal transfer point for At&t. You need to think iPhone, and how big it is becoming, and you need to do it now. As Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] destroys Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] , more people will flock to the At&t network, by way of buying an iPhone (Apple is locked into a contract with T). Plus, there is a decent short position (7%+) worth flattening out like a panini.

I love when politics becomes drama for the masses. Everyone is so worked up over Brown and his pending bitch-slap to the democratic party. While I am politically indifferent, I do enjoy a good public bitch-slap.

In a word: GIVEMEKENNEDYSSEATBITCH.

On a separate note, I’ve ordered 3 dozen Japanese beetles and will soon have them deposited into someone’s backyard.

As for stocks, forget the banks. Citigroup Inc. [[C]] just reported and the numbers sucked. You know, 68% of Citi’s revenue originate from overseas? That’s an amazing figure. If I was an American, which I most certainly am, I would not trust those fucking nerds over at Citi with my dinero. Banks are simply too difficult to analyze. They all lie and are protected by world governments to successfully continue said lies. I propose, why bother with banks when there are perfectly fine technology and commodity stocks available for purchase?

Ultimately, banks will sink into oblivion, as their weighting in the S&P 500 shrinks over time. I would not be surprised to see the financial weighting in the S&P around 10%, 5 years from now. If you need financial exposure, you’re better off with insurance or asset managers in your portfolios.

Okay, time to get ready for the trading day, via eating 3 large bowls of oatmeal. I am not talking regular “hey look I’m a dumb guy eating oatmeal” large. I am talking MONSTROUSLY large bowls, on a very, very hideous scale.

Despite my “fuck you, you’re dead” internet persona, I never hurt people in real life, who didn’t already have it coming to them. With success (trading, blogging, life in general) comes jealousy and hatred. Such hatred can make an idiot do what comes natural to him/her: attack. With most people, haters are permitted to run rampant, as most “normal” people do not enjoy conflict or getting involved in inane debates. Well, you motherfuckers came to the wrong Fly, for I will fucking massacre you.

I will send 30 male hookers to your house (one for each day of the month). I can dispatch people to go on road trips and leave dead fish in your beautiful garden or send paid pizzas to your residence, every night at 10pm. I do not ask for much. All I ask is to be left alone. I don’t like people and I hate when slimy sleezeballs enter into my fray. Everything is traceable and I do not play fair, so fuck off before I make your life difficult.

On a separate note, the markets will climb tomorrow, effectively throwing salt in the eyes of some of you [[FAZ]] clam-fuckers. You got your dick stuck in a clam and there is no way out but loose.

God speed.

With European markets trading up today, I expect to see the U.S. markets bounce, when trading begins tomorrow morning. As far as my cash position is concerned, I am pretty comfortable with 15%, at least for the next few days. Who knows?

I will provide the readers of this site with a short term game plan, later on tonight or early tomorrow.

A little FYI: Wood’s PDS service is kicking ass on a monumental scale, booking a success ratio of 83%, successfully calling 181 of 218 trades. Truly amazing. If you are interested, find one of the ads on the site and sign up for a free trial. I don’t feel like short cutting it for you lazy fuckers, by providing a convenient link in this post.

FYI II: iBC will be welcoming a new contributor, sometime soon. It will be different and it will be grande.

Krull at his best. Become Amish; fuck the mules.

A lot of you blogging fuckers make believe you know how to manage real money, when in fact you are trading the sea shells from my beach house. Do yourselves a favor and quit blogging, RIGHT NOW, else feel the tip of my sharpened sword.

NOTE: This missive is pointed directly at the clowns who claim to be “great investors” but offer little game plan for the mid-intermediate term investor. Anyone with real money knows and understands that day trading is for birds, small birds with big beaks. In other words, you are inexorably irrelevant.

In summary, iBankCoin urinates on you from 500 story high balconies.

UPDATE: Indeud.