CRASH COURSE

Well, I told you I wouldn’t get caught flat footed again. But this time around, it wasn’t instinct that saved me, but the stock Gods. I am completely out of the loop now, here on an undisclosed island in the caribbean. Due to the implosion of DECK yesterday, I opted to go to 50% cash and throw on a TZA hedge, by way of stock and Sept 47 calls, +75% today. However, I am not unscathed here, but the damage is contained.

Why are we crashing again? European banks? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. I think Scott said it best, a whole pastiche of things is contributing to a crisis of confidence. As far as Italian and Spanish debt is concerned, yields jumped less than 0.75% today. However, for the love of hypodermic needles, they are both yielding less than 5%, hardly a crisis there.

This is what I am doing. I am going to sell my TZA and scout longs. I might not buy them today, due to the possibility we close at the lows. But this panic is oversubscribed and my robots say it’s time to get in.

For the record, The PPT flagged OVERBOUGHT on 8/15. How’s that for timing?

Indeud.

UPDATE: I sold out of TZA and calls, +80% one day gain.

I just wanted to point out the obvious to some of you who visit iBC and leave inane messages. “The Fly” is not a fucking trader. He doesn’t fiddle around with bullshit Zeeco or ThinkandSink accounts, managing 5 figs, acting all bold and shit. The vast majority of you little trollops are irrelevant when it comes to Wall Street. You are never privy, just choking on dicks and charts. You feel as if you have an edge because you read candlesticks. However, in reality, you are playing with dynamite sticks, fixing to blow up your accounts.

Your financial advice is never required or coveted on iBankcoin, because we are better than you. I don’t just mean that in the colloquial way, but literally.

I am a manager of assets. I make people rich and rich people richer. I’ve been doing this shit since the late 90’s, a student of the market since I was 11. Anything that you know, I’ve already studied.

To this point, even while on vacation, the bannings on iBC will be distributed liberally, sending you goat fuckers to see the distinguished Greg Solomon for reeducation.

If you’re interested in my pedigree, look no further than my archives. I’ve fucking annihilated this market, publicly, for over 5 years now and, generally, spit on you little faggot bloggers who dare step into my realm.

iBC will nuclear bomb your barracks and enslave your women to bake us banana bread. Do not fuck with me, especially when on vacation, else I will rip your face off and punch your fucking skull clean off your scrawny shoulders.

As an aside, I am expecting further downside tomorrow. Hence, I am 50% cash with a TZA hedge, by way of stock and Sept calls.

NOTE: From now on, unban requests will be denied, unless the request comes in the form of essay, minimum of 200 words. Proper punctuation is a must.

If DECK didn’t get obliterated today, I might not have opted for cash today. But it did knife lower, on no news other than CTRN and ANF sucking balls, much to my chagrin. DECK is one of my largest positions and I only have a few positions, so I must reduce risk in other positions in order to determine whether I want to double down or cut my losses on DECK.

There is no way anyone has an edge on DECK here. They do not accelerate sales volume until late September and inventories are big due to the belief that they are poised to ramp, later on this year. If you recall, they reported a great quarterly number and I sold near $105. I bought back in around $90-92.5 due to my belief the stock was being tossed aside due to market panic. However, over the past two days, DECK has shed nearly $10 on no news. Which leads me to surmise, FMR or Blackrock may be reducing risk, across the spectrum, regardless of the name.

Let me remind you, the people who manage your money are not too bright and tend to not give a fuck about executions. They are steering a big fucking boat, much bigger than my flotilla, and couldn’t care less about chicks digging on furry boots. Once the selling subsides, DECK will be a sick buy. Watch it spring the fuck higher, to the amazement of all who are short.

For the day, I shed another 1%, mostly due to DECK.

Off to eat some fish tacos.

In light of today’s intra-day “fuck you, you’re dead” trading, I took time out of my vacation to sell out half of my equity holdings. I sold my largest position, EMN, as well as CLF and KBH. With DECK spiraling lower here, on no fucking news, my appetite for equity is little to none. Earlier on I was tempted to go long Sept calls in DECK and maybe a bit more WNR. However, I am going to respect The PPT here and opt out of any shopping sprees, in exchange for cash.

My cash position is now 50%.

UPDATE: I bought a TZA stock/call position as a hedge.

After an early melt-up, it appears to me the market is flat footed here, about to get kicked down a flight of spiked stairs, lined with mustard. My DECK position is getting poleaxed and WNR has given up most of its early gains.

The fundies for the refiners continue to strengthen, as crack spreads widen even further this morning, off of reported gasoline shortages throughout the country. Don’t forget, we’re entering the wonderful and magical season of hurricanes, where cities get torn to shit by “angry” thunderstorms on steroids and crack-cocaine.

Up in the civilized part of the United States, NYC, we do not “enjoy” such weather. Instead, we get to “enjoy” homeless men spraying urine and feces onto open food buffets.

Bottom line: the market isn’t healthy just yet. We need to meander around a bit and get rid of weak hands. I suspect after a little basing out around these levels, we will be able to launch higher again, just in time for September—identical to last year.

This post is about absolutely nothing. The goal here is to clear the uprising that took place, in the previous post, and feature some fantastic music.

Enjoy!

Okay, I am going out on a limb here, at the risk of upsetting my emotional friend, Senator Gint. Aside from Romney, the current roster of republican candidates are UNELECTABLE. More so, if Mitt is NOT nominated, or HERMAN CO-CAINE, I will be voting for Prezident O’bama again.

Ask me why, I fucking dare you.

First of all, Bachmann is an idiot on a wide array of issues. Do I really need to delve into detail, seriously? Rick Perry is a bible toting simpleton, who will endorse BIG fucking oil, as if that shit was oxygen. Plus anyway, didn’t he run Al Gore’s Texas campaign many moons ago? I say NO to RINOS every time. And, let’s not ignore his asinine comments on the beloved BEARDED CLAM. Take issue with me on this, I don’t give a fuck. I will NOT vote for anyone who is hating on the Fed. For the love of half bibles and abandoned churches, the Fed is all we have here on Wall Street. Fuck these politicians.

I would LOVE to say President Co-caine, over and over again. Herman is a mathematician and majored in Physics. He is like Obama, but only smarter and knows shit about life, and business. He wants to eliminate cap gains. Okay, maybe that didn’t hit you right away, so I’ll say it again. He wants to put capital gains taxes at ZERO percent, FOREVER. And, to boot, he wants to lower income tax to 25%, again permanently. Sadly, the media treats him like he is the former owner of a fucking chicken restaurant.

Santorum wants to arrest women who abort babies conceived by way of rape, as does Bachman. These fuckers don’t recognize that DNA can be transferred from one person to the next, because, well, God makes everyone, right? These fucking religious zealots are insane.

Lastly, there is Mitt. He is our final hope. However, the fucking hillbillies don’t like him because he’s a mormon and likes to keep 4-5 wives around, doing the dishes, baking him banana bread.

Just like last election, I will vote against the republicans for fielding such a stupid roster. They do not deserve to win. Obama is the worst President since Bush II and he will win thanks to the pathetic state of the GOP.

Out with business minded people, in with the fucking bible teachers.

Fuck off.

For the first time in iBC history, I am requesting you give me a market update. Where I am, there is no such thing as iPhones and normal carriers, only roaming shit that makes the transfer of data cumbersome. My only outlet to information, or a phone, is via the apartment I am renting.

I request the following:

Full market update, not just the bearish stuff CRONKITE has been posting lately. And, I want to hear all of the lovely rumors being purported by the dicksuckers on Twitter.

As for me, I am getting my conch and George Hamilton on. By the time I leave here, people will think I am native. Shit is so expensive out here, you’d think it was exclusive for rich folk only. Oh, wait, it is reserved for rich folk only.

For the day, I shed 2.1%—mostly thanks to DECK and WNR.

You guys should all gather around the fireside tonight and concoct some brand-fucking-new SocGen rumors. Or, you can make some shit up about MS or C, both stocks suck. As you know, rumors are only lies if proven so.

It appears I am off by 2% at the moment.

Back to the beach.

If you choose the path of risk aversion, there is nothing wrong with raising cash here. We’ve had a nice run over the past week and a pullback is expected. However, if you’re like me, against any and all bearshitters, you look at this and say “PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF”, we’re going the fuck higher.

I have every reason to believe the Dow can decline by 100-250 points from here. Moreover, I expect to give back 5% of my recent gains. But, again, fellow plebs of the interworld, this is part of the game. Losses must be absorbed in order to achieve supreme winship.

As the clowns fire themselves out from carnivale cannons, “The Fly” will remain calm and collected and impose his will on the markets, whenever the opportunity presents itself. For example: GSVC.

Remember, the basis of the panic stemmed from Italian and Spanish 10yr yields. When the market started dropping, fuckers started making up rumors and outright lying and/or guessing about things, begetting more panic. Human emotion is ridiculous, especially when trying to make rational decisions in the stock market. However, eventually, the good guys win.

UPDATE: I bought KBH.