STEPPING-OFF!

I’ve been raising cash through a variety of methods this morning, as it is my right to do so.

Let’s review my train of thought, if you have a moment to spare, kind sir.

I am up 17% for the year and it’s still January.

I am up 17% for the year and it’s still January.

I am up 17% for the year and it’s still January.

I am up 17% for the year and it’s still January.

I am up 17% for the year and it’s still January.

That just about sums it up.

In other news, both SODA and GMCR are climbing. For now, those stocks are off limits. EVERYTHING else is for sale, including this fucking blog.

My wife, Mrs. Fly, accidentally melted a plastic spoon in our oven the other day. Through mishap, while taking pizza from the oven, she dropped a plastic spoon onto the oven’s ass. Frantically, in an effort to recover from such a heinous error, she raced for the drawer to find BBQ thongs to remove the smoldering fork. I watched with heightened curiosity as this event transpired. As pale as a ghost, she took the half melted fork out of the oven, then began lamenting over her error. When the oven cooled off, she scrubbed away, trying to remove the hardened plastic fork from the oven’s ass. However, it was too late.

The fork just sort of spread out on the oven, like creamed cheese. This of course, amongst other things, humored me to no end.

When it was time for dinner to be prepared, naturally, she had forgotten about le fork de plastic. Happily, she placed her roast into the oven, then galloped away, cheerfully, to go read about some new lipstick. Watching the clock, in between sips of Earl Grey Tea, I knew it was only a matter of time.

“WHAT IS THAT SMELL?” she exclaimed. I replied, “oh, it’s nothing but the plastic fork you so readily melted in the oven.” It’s worth noting that I responded with grace, whilst casually reading my book (Bleak House).

“But, we cannot have this smell. What will we do?” Again, in a calm and casual manner, I replied “we shall have the plastic fork for dinner.”

“It’s not funny” she shot back, angered by my relaxed tone.

“As a matter of fact, it is quite. We shall have plastic fork with breakfast and lunch and with dinner” I added.

“Arggg.”

As a sit here, blogging like the wind and the sun, shining gifts of knowledge and joy onto your peasantry heads, I am heating up an english muffin, with a side order of plastic fork. It has a certain aroma to it, part industrial, part cosmic. You can smell the muffin, but also the fork. That’s the beauty of it.

Mrs. Fly has all but had enough of le fork de plastic and harbors secretive designs of tossing the entire oven, curbside, in order to perfume her home with the smells of delicacy. I know this to be true.

Howsoever, I beg to differ.

I scanned for stocks that were upgraded to “buy” and “strong buy”, exhibiting volume spikes and strong technicals–with big short positions, courtesy of The PPT.

I sold out of FSLR (my largest position) and dropped a mill into SODA, into the bell–because I can. I kept everything else intact because it will appreciate in value, immediately, upon trading on Monday.

Have a great weekend.

FBOOK to file ipo and I am long egregious amounts of GSVC. Don’t.say.a.word.

Shhhh.

Long GSVC, GMCR, DMND, FSLR, SFLY, SODA.

Winship.

I reduced my cash position to just 5% this morning, something I rarely do. Why?

I am interested in the prospects of GMCR, based on the SBUX K-Cup sales reported last night. Basically, business is booming and GMCR is heavily shorted. I was long this name back in the old days, before it got popular. I was drinking K-Cups when you were mixing sandy Sanka into your disheveled coffee mugs. If you haven’t figured it out by now, “The Fly” aka Plutonium Petey is a bear-killer. I hunt them and cut their heads off, light their bodies on fire, use the flames to spark my cuban cigars (I smuggled 10 boxes in from Turks and Caicos last summer).

Despite the softness of the market, I am rippppping higher, led by FSLR.

I sold out of my MWW because the CEO is an imbecile and doesn’t know how to annunciate words of the English language. I warned you 2012 was going to be the year of “The Fly”; and here I am, up 10% for the year, bowling on my enemies because I like knocking down pins.

I started a new position in GMCR and added, lightly, to both SFLY and DMND.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you are on a date, walking through a park, you will get struck by lightening. And, you may lose money.

I sold out of MWW.

Oh no, GDP came in a bit lighter than expected. Couple that with the fact that everything is doomed, the market might trade down by 50 points today. I am sure Ben Bernanke is sitting in his living room, in a frenzy, watching CNBC and saying “what in the world am I going to do now?”

In all seriousness, a good 5% pullback would be healthy for the market in order to consolidate recent gains and flush out the weaker hands. That will give the true buyers a chance to get in at respectable levels. We all want to own FOSL, CLF and other such names, but lower.

Even though I have only 15% of my assets in cash and I am long a variety of high beta, cocaine fueled names; I am prepared to invest every single cent, AND MORE. I am prepared to leverage up, whilst eating deep fried Big Mac sandwiches, drunk off southern moonshine.

Looking at the SBUX numbers, I am impressed with their K-Cup sales of $100 million in two months. Of course this is the beginning of their K-Cup excursion, which might have been the reason for a little overzealousness. However, it’s impressive nonetheless, especially since they hardly marketed their K-Cups due to supply constraints. This is a small aspect of GMCR’s business but may be the tell or the clue that speaks to a bigger story. I am becoming increasingly positive on GMCR sub $50.

In the meantime, it’s a rainy Friday morning and the market is soft like tits. I will be buying dips.

Longs enjoyed clawhammers to the skeleton today, as the market reversed sharply lower from its highs. Here in the whimsical world that is “The Fly”, I was obliterated in MWW and took a punch with SODA. But my losses were completely offset by gains in FSLR, DMND, GSVC and SFLY. I realize you are all betting against me and pray to half-horsed demons to bring about my downfall; but I am not like you. My inventory runs deep and my holdings are pristine.

As of late, I’ve been getting quizzed by some of the mezzo cito about my holdings, followed up with lowly remarks. I post every single buy and sell here and my portfolio, in its entirety, is listed inside The PPT–accompanied by time stamped transactions–for the explicit purposes of transparency. If you are unable to read every single post on this place of industry, do not feel it to be your right to question what I am doing. Always know, “The Fly” runs hot, very, very hot. Things worthwhile today might be discarded tomorrow. In my opinion, stocks are nothing more than conduits to make money on directional trades, long or short.

We should trade lower; but we will likely trade up. The Federal Reserve is very much interested in reflating until they can reflate no more.

As you devour healthy deep fried hamburgers and slices of breaded pizza, be cognizant of the Clam, for he is bearded and wins often.