FOOT FIRMLY PRESSED DOWN, HEADING FOR THE SUN

I’m back in my car made from dynamite sticks, not giving a fuck about the extreme flammables around me as I head towards the sun. By the grace of the Gods, I’ve been spared in the recent downtick in equities. Adding to the fact that I escaped the clutches of death that is VXX, I am banging on my jungle drums again–long egregious amounts of CPST, YELP, TDC, RS, BID EXK etc.

I was up 1.44% today and my energy level is much higher than yours. I don’t need caffeine or Red Bull. I’m fueled by winship pal. Watch and see the market shit on bears, as we head towards all-time-highs. Those highs deserve new lows in volatility, by the way. If you find yourself long downside products, listen to me very closely: capitulate or get flattened out like corn by alien spaceships making crop circles in your bullshit backyards.

Cash level: less than 10%

I added to my YELP

Unfortunately, I know someone who is LONG 300,000 shares of TVIX. He is not a stupid man, either. The losses are in the millions and life must suck for him. How do you come back from a disaster like that? Easy, you just fucking do it. Plenty of people have dealt with far worse adversity than monetary loss and come out on top. If any of you buttfuckers are feeling all down and out because the market slapped you around like a little bitch, snap the fuck out of it and get back on your horse. No one likes a loser. More importantly, no one like a loser who feels sorry for himself; it’s just pathetic.

My Grandfather had to deal with thieving “fucking firemen”, who stole his “fucking stamp collection” when he burned down his business for the insurance money. If he was able to come back from that blow, so can you.

With regards to the market: we have a divergence. Tech is weak; but commodities are strong. This is your “Tale of Two Cities” (you dummies should read some Dickens, it’s good for the brain) and someone is on the right side of the trade. With China being the bigger concern here, I have to believe the commodities are speaking truths, whilst the tech stocks are fucking lying.

By the way, I read an interesting research note that said SNDK is enjoying an unusual tailwind thanks to the weaker Yen. Apparently, their EPS may be helped by 5-10% thanks to the Yen going lower. Food for thought.

Courtesy of The PPT, here are today’s Basic Material winners.

This fucker is down another 18% this morning. You do realize what happened here, don’t you?

SOMEONE HAS BEEN TRADING ON INSIDER KNOWLEDGE THAT CREDIT SUISSE WAS GOING TO ISSUE MORE SHARES. Hence, the ETN, which magically levitated well above its NAV for God knows how long, is reverting back to it now. There will be plenty of shares to short now. However, there were none available yesterday or months before it, so whoever has been shorting this fucker, yesterday and the day before, must’ve known new shares were coming to market; hence, someone should arrest them and toss them in gaol.

I am going to create a screening tool to track iNAV’s to current price for divergence. When I get the results, I will share it with you to point to potential red flags.

The market looks benign this morning. However, Europe is weak for a 5th day. In other words, we are in the midst of a correction. Do we buy it or avoid? That’s what makes a market and only one party can be right.

Top Pick: EXK

I had long day, scurrying through NYC for a little business and leisure. I met up with my family in Central park, following a meeting. My wife was with the kids. They were having a ball, tossing themselves around the place like rag dolls. As I was sitting there, next to the water fountain, shuffling through my emails, some fat bitch posted up next to me with her kid. From the second I saw her I knew something was off. Then the unbelievable transpired, right next to me and about 100 other kids and nannies: her 8 year old kid took a shit in a plastic bag she was holding. Chagrined, I quickly moved away. She wasn’t trying to hide anything, twisted up the bag and tossed it in the trash, sending little Jimmy to go swing like a fucking baby gorilla off the bars. In case you thought that was a racial slur, the bitch was white.

I figured if I was going to claim to be JAKEGINT, I’d preface it with a story like that.

I like gold here, way more than Jakegint. This whole Chinese slowdown will end up being HORSESHIT. They are undergoing political transition, as is the case every 5 and 10 years. The new commy fuckers step into office in 2013. Immediately following their appointment, their economy will rip to the upside because these new commy fuckers want to make a first impression.

The Chinese are all about shit like that.

My only gold play is EXK, despite the fact it’s a fucking silver stock. See, unlike JAKEGINT, I’m irrational in my belief systems. I don’t conform to anyone. Hell, both democrats and republicans hate me. Nevertheless, I am JAKEGINT aka Cement Head.

As the ‘reelect Obama’ campaign starts in earnest, I’ll be counting my gold bricks, while kicking homeless men in the dicks, impaling pikers on Wall with sharp sticks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_10tfbfO94

I’ve been out all day on business. Pardon my absence.

I will leave my market opinions for a later post. For this one, I want to discuss the criminality that is TVIX.

It’s not all right that this publicly traded fraud mechanism is down 30% whilst volatility is up. I understand the whole reversion to the NAV aspect of TVIX. But let’s call a spade a spade, this thing wasn’t planned properly and as a result, investors lost a tremendous amount of money in it.

Credit Suisse should not be given a pass just because there are disclosures attached. And to the people who say “oh, anyone who bought this without doing research deserves it” should be flushed down giant toilet bowls for talking shit.

This thing has was trading up when volatility was down. How is an investor supposed to know that today was armageddon for the product? That sort of thinking is devoid of reason and undeserving of further discussion.

Here’s what I propose happens: the SEC gets off their asses, trying to nail high profile hedge fund managers or piker penny stock operators and go after the fuckers who invented this TVIX abomination.

Investors deserve better than this shit; and people who fuck up on this type of scale should shovel shit for a few years.

Asshats.

Let’s just hope people weren’t paying attention to that bad, bad, bad Chinese data.

I have to be somewhere in about 1 hour, so this will be brief. Retail sensitive names, like JWN and BID, seem to be shrugging off the fucktarded Chinese data. However, the same cannot be said about the basic materials, who are getting smashed for a 3rd consecutive day. All in all, I am pleased with my new positions, sans RS and AKS. Nonetheless, it is our duty to have faith in THE BEARDED CLAM, with hopes of more printing press sensationalism.

In al seriousness, the most likely scenario to play out will be my original thesis of black smoke and depression strewn across the globe. I knew it the second I capitulated on VXX. But VXX is a magnanimously asinine product to begin with, so I feel no sense of remorse for parting with that shit. Commodities are lower, as well as commodity related stocks due to fears that everything isn’t paved with gold in the Orient. Now if you believe last night’s data was wrong, today is your dip. Or, if you feel the data is just a precursor to progressively worse data, today is the day you cut losses and head for the hills.

For now, I am holding firm.

A few months back I created a watchlist inside of The PPT and discussed the resurgence in housing, here on this very blog. I pointed to a group of stocks that were climbing higher and pondered “could this be it?” Back then I was invested in BZH, TEX, MTW, LPX, MAS, LEN and USG, truly ignoring the KARL’S of the world, executing trades for profit. But, like many things over the past year, I let a good idea get away from me and exchanged my shares for fear.

Let’s see how my fucking watchlist did since then.

There is momentum, no? Do my eyes deceive me or is USG and all of the homebuilders hitting new highs?

Housing may have bottomed. As a matter of fact, I am fairly certain it has bottomed, which is why I am swapping my house for another. All we need is the jobs market to firm up and we’ll have ourselves a fucking super-cycle in housing, offering boons to derivative plays.

Do not ignore what is right in front of your fucking faces. Get off your fat asses and hustle for something innovative. Find “the next one to go.” I realize the market is up a lot and we are overdue for a correction. But, let’s face it, this is a roaring bull market. I was stupid to sit on the fence for so long, watching all of the retards make money–as I sat sipping sugarless lemonade.

Well, it’s my turn now fuckfaces. My game starts now with TDC, YELP, CPST, RS, AKS, JWN, EXK and BID.

Oh, that’s not enough? I got a lotta more for you, fool (No Clubber Lang).

Please don’t humiliate yourselves with uneducated critiques of YELP. Let me remind you of past critiques of CMI @ $45, MNST @$20, BWLD @$35, FOSL at $70, LULU at $45, GMCR @ $25, FTK @ $1, NFLX @ $79, WNR @$12, GSVC $12 etc. The list goes on and on and on, ad nauseam. Let me explain something to you, pal, you know absolutely nothing about stocks. Your expertise extends to a few lines and dots and some graph paper, charting out your moving averages, trying to find the next “breakout.”

“The Fly” does not base his decisions on charts or on the opinions of retarded analysts. My research derives from outerspace, while taking tea breaks, sitting near my orbital space cannon.

Naturally, I do not speak to all of you, so don’t take offense if you are a gentleman with a top hat. But for the old fuckers with commodore computers talking shit about YELP, ooh, I’m gonna rip your jaw from your fucking faces. I will underwrite vicious violence upon your person should you continue to talk shit about my stocks, in my house. Take your jargon elsewhere, Sir; for not only is it not desired, it is deplored!

I started positions in JWN and BID today, ahead of the spring auction season. And, as you know, I bought more YELP.

Look for the faces of the bears to get weazened in the coming days and weeks ahead. I shall continue my belligerent assaults on the markets, without reservation, and most certainly without pause.

I started positions in BID and JWN and added to YELP.