iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,374 Blog Posts

Trending Higher

I’m thinking about expanding iBC’s news section to include unique content, which would entail hiring someone to do investigative journalism. Before I pursue the placement of this position in the real world, I bring you this opportunity to make a fucking name for yourselves. If you have a background in finance and english or possess the ability to write on a college level, feel free to email me credentials: flybroker at gmail.com

A big mover this morning is WOLF. That place is a fucking shit heap. I’d never consider brining my kids to that bedbug infested hovel. Oddly enough, earnings were fantastic, which further supports my thesis that the lot of you are arcane beings, singular men and women who relish depravity with animal satisfaction.

Precious metals are weak today and volatility has collapsed. There is a real sense of complacency in the market, as investors feel nothing can go wrong.  Apple is likely to release a teevee in the fourth quarter, which should sink shares of LOGI for good. After all, once Apple takes over the teevee and remote market, who will buy LOGI’s stupid remotes? As for the glass, I have to believe an Apple juggernaut will bode extremely well for GLW, provider of glass substrates.

If the market is going to continue trading higher, I see no reason to try to outthink the market through buying out of favor stocks and sectors, hoping someone will notice how awesome they are. During crazed banana runs, trending industries continue to trend; things in motion tend to stay in motion.

For now, retail or anything consumer sensitive is the sweet spot.

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I Found the Bull Market!

A true bull market is being able to invest in the shittiest stock and bank coin because a high tide lifts all boats. In many regards, I find myself, foolishly, scouring the old worn out sectors, like coal, gold and oil, for winners. In reality, there is a feverish bull market in select sectors, all revolving around a certain theme.

That theme is consumer spending. Whether it be through consumption of new homes or at bullshit fat cholesterol dens of hell eateries, people are spending again and the stock prices are reflecting that.

I do not speak upon such subjects without the support of mathematical precision. As a matter of fact, using our new correlation tool inside of The PPT (that’s an auto-link, not something I bothered to do on my own), I’ve managed to mine out the best performing sectors, in comparison to the S&P 500, over a numbers of time frames.

These were the winners (note: NONE of them were accidental health and insurance. Whoever utters those words will receive an instant-banning from these halls)

So what’s so special about the above industries? Unlike the bullshit that is found in basic materials and tech, the gains in the above industries are persistent and continuous–over numerous time frames–up until the past 12 months. The easiest way to underperform a roaring market is to allocate capital into the wrong industries, then bitch and moan about it later. Believe me, I am speaking to myself as much as you.

The next step will be to narrow down my search to my favorite stocks, within these sectors, and buy them.

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Counterfeit Parade

Imagine you had a printing press in your basement. Now imagine that you printed out $1 million in brand new, crisp, $100 bills.

You head out to the grocery store for some milk and “The Fly” is behind the counter manning the register.

You put the milk on the counter and ask “how much, fine Sir?”

“The Fly” responds in a cryptic tone, “for you, $2,000.”

Confused by such an egregious price for a simple gallon of milk, you quiz the man behind the register, asking “why so much, for just simple gallon of cow piss?”

“The Fly” quickly responds “that’s the price, asshole. Take it or leave it.”

Knowing that you have the ability to make more money in your basement, you buy the milk and never think twice about it again. With your money, “The Fly” finishes building his space orbital cannon (SOC) and destroys 2/3rd’s of the western hemisphere with it.

Moral hazard.

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ZERO FEAR

“I am going to tell you all you need to know for the rest of your lives.”

Nothing matters. Whether we are discussing Italian debt or Greek insolvency, the fix is in. The ECB is forcing banks to buy sovereign debt again in order to give the impression that the crisis is over. I surmise, they can do this forever, without ever having to deal with onerous consequences. In the meantime, stocks are trading the fuck higher because there is no fear, whatsoever.

Did your company report earnings and see its stock trade lower?

No fucking problemo, hombre. Buy the dip and get your share of the billions being made in the market. Eventually, everything will trade up. Look at shares of JVA today, totally devoid of rationality. But who gives a fuck? There is a gazillion dollars in counterfeit money without a home. Those dollars need to go somewhere, why not stocks?

Okay, I know this missive is confusing many of you because you’re not a cynic like me, so let me be clear.

I am mocking the market. I believe stocks are in a bubble, but can continue to inflate because there are no boundaries to the level of risk that people are willing to take. We’ve learned nothing from the collapse of 2008. As a matter of fact, things are exponentially worse today than the mere housing debacle that we experienced then. Today’s bubble is on a global scale, stemming from governments with insatiable appetites for spending without a worry in the world.

Our pension funds are heavily exposed to the market. A friend of mine runs a very large pension fund and has 95% exposure to equities. He is not allocated in bonds or precious metals, just stocks. When the market collapsed in 2008, he was down almost 60% on the pension. Like many others, he desperately needed the stock market to rise and rise quickly, in order to remain solvent.

Now you know why the market is rising and how the odds are stacked in favor of the bulls. I do not suggest shorting stocks; it’s too hard. As a matter of fact, I too want to bathe in the splendour that is the stock market bubble. However, I want to do so on my terms.

Unfortunately, it appears I may have to wait a long, long time.

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The Proof is in: Gold Sucks

It’s official, ladies and cement heads (CH): the bull market in precious metals is over. As a matter of fact, the bull market in the miners has been over for many months, unbeknownst to the evil dictators at CNBC.

As you sashay in and out of gold stocks, the general market is shitting on them. Would you like evidence or proof of my outrageous claims?

BASED UPON THE IRREFUTABLE LAWS OF SUPREME MATHEMATICS, IN ALL OF ITS WISDOMDRY, I GIVE YOU ACCESS TO A MERE LOOK INTO A NEW TOOL (no sykes) DEVELOPED BY THE GODLY FOLKS OVER AT iBANKCOIN.

BEHOLD:

Just so you know, that is our new correlation tool, IN BETA (fuckface), built to track all stocks and all sectors, allowing our members to know where the money is flowing. In this case, as evidenced by the ratios provided above, gold miners have vastly underperformed the SPY.

We’ll be releasing all of this shit, AND MORE, upon the rebirth and launch of The PPT 2.0.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1Xl6qEWmCY 603 500]

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“The Fly’s” Blogroll

How do you value everyone?

If I died today, ChessnWine, Ragin Cajun, Woodshedder and the gang would have to carry on my legacy of slapping homeless men in the face with hot slices of pizza on my birthday. iBankCoin has a blogger network where you, the idiot reader, can join and speak your mind.

As a first tier blogger, someone of importance in the virtual world and real, I’ve always monitored the ongoings of the financial blogosphere. My buddy Ritholtz is one of the pioneers in the financial blogging world; and even though he’s never fucking linked to iBankCoin in all of our years in existence, I still love him because of sentiment and the work he puts into his writing on a daily basis.

By the way, Barry nailed MUSE many years ago at about $1, as well as the market bottom in 2003, with space alien magician precision.

Throughout the years, I’ve watched Reformed Broker flourish from a “linkfest” type of guy into the first tier blogger club. I look forward to meeting him one day, and out drinking him over rocks with some Scotch splashed onto them.

Many years ago, when he was first starting out, I tried to convince Tyler from Zerohedge to leave his new blog to write for me. Lucky for him, he decided to go it alone and become one of the most visited sites on the fucking internets. A lot of people love to hate on Tyler, specifically because he is bearish as fuck and popular as hell. Fucking Rush Limbaugh plugs his site for free on his show. The way I see it, Tyler is a consummate professional, provider of news and information on a scale never seen before on the financial blogoshere. It’s easy to hate on ZH when your dick is small. Man the fuck up and give that lunatic his fucking due.

The Yahoo message boards used to be a place where people went to get information about their stocks. However, due to spam and retardation, it was rendered useless. StockTwits has replaced Yahoo’s retarded message boards with something much better: a curated and efficient stream of real time information for the masses. When on the road, I check my StockTwits iPhone app all the time, for grave news and information, on the stocks that I own “being had” by meat cleavers and other sharp kitchen utensils.

What’s the point here?

Well, aside from the sacred halls of iBankCoin, I read 4 fucking sites; and I just wanted to let you know that all of the others are run by vagrant dicksuckers. AVOID them at all costs.

 

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The Truth of the Matter

After starting the year like a porn star with two dicks, since then, my approach to the market has been less than enthusiastic. Being up 20% in the first six weeks of trading made me ponder about the presence of celestial beings and how the market might react to an overbearing asshole in Germany. Pardon the phrase, but at the end of the day, everything worked out swell. The original buttfuckers got their bailout and the banks avoided going out of business, thanks to the printing presses.

Germany was bluffing all along because they are tricky nazis, through and through.

Since that time, I’ve been accumulating CPST, TIF, VXX and more recently ALJ and QCOR. Due to my uncertainty and fear of losing what I made, I invested in very small increments. Even to this day, I have about 60% of my assets in money market accounts. I dribbed and drabbed into VXX and CPST, leading to a 7% deficit in the former and a -20% hole in the latter.

I sold all of my TIF for a quick 7.5% return, only because I got GRAPED in both ALJ and QCOR today, for a -8% and -6% return respectively. My bottom line is still up 17% for the year, not due to sage investing or space alien time machines, but because I behaved like a pussy when I sucked the most. I limited the carnage when I was off my game by having less skin in the game, also known as “winning while losing.”

Now we all ebb and flow and I tend to flow a lot more than others. I’ve been paralyzed to the markets irrational behavior because it is not SHOMP. This is nonsense on a wholesale level, and I say “suchness” with a perfectly adequate amount of disdain and bitterness.

The truth of the matter is, this is nothing more than a pit-stop in the big scheme of things for me. I am taking a few baby steps back, only to prepare the grounds for war where I intend to take Donkey Kong– with flaming barrels of dynamite— steps forward in the near term future.

Speaking of success, my good friend, HOWARD LINDZON, gave a great interview the other day that you should watch. Knowing Howard and his family, I can tell you he is a winner and someone who gets things done, when it comes to the internets. All of you fuckers hating on Lindzon can choke on two dicks and a nutsack.

Pardon my abhorrent language and demeanor. Let me make up for it by introducing you to art.

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Summarizing the Unbelievable

First of all, fuck you, I am not depressed. “The Fly” doesn’t fall prey to human weaknesses, such as perversion, sadness or gluttony.

Just in case you waking up now, hung over from all of the low priced liquor you devoured last night, this is what you need to know.

Greece defaulted and CDS will be triggered. As a result, the Euro is plunging, down 1.15%. With the dollar soaring higher, the market is NOT trading lower. It’s up another 40 points and to make matters even more baffling, both gold and silver are ripping higher.

The dollar is soaring and so is gold and silver. Got it.

Oh, everything else is up too, across the board, with exception to all of my positions. Copper is a real standout, and corn.

The market is honey badgering higher because the bears are too busy singing the homosexual opera, instead of weighing into commodities. The market should be down, but it isn’t because we’re all scared of getting our dicks cut off.

UPDATE: I bought more VXX

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