The Ultimate Bankruptcy Play: Why the Hell Not?

BEHOLD, gentlemen, the National Bank of Greece.

Pair trade idea, or “pairs trade” idea, as some of you illiterate like to say.

How about short Bill Ackman’s retarded JCP, long NBG? I am sure there is a 100% spread in there somewhere, as the resilient people of Greece rebound and the misfits over at JCP, led by Ron “businessman” Johnson, file for bankruptcy protection.

I added to my boat stock, FRO.

The Cyprus deal has proven nothing but the obvious: there will not be any institutional failures, by any means. If anything, the people will pay for the sins of the few. Therefore, nothing has changed but the day on the calendar. If the market is going to run higher, it will need a different catalyst, other than “hey look, the ass of Greece isn’t defaulting.”

I’m still waiting for my prize, the grande finale, which is coming before tax day.

Let’s see how the market opens, before making observations. Right now, futs are higher, but well off the highs. Nothing special.

Wall Street is going to be overflowing with cocaine tomorrow.

Get ready for the traditional sunday night bailout, sending futures to the freakin’ moon.

Futs up.

Silver, gold down.

Euro up.

Bears’ morale down.

Get up to minute updates via Twitter #Cyprus wire.

Gyeah!

This is too classic for me to cheapen by copy and pasting a large swath of the article. Here is a preview. Click on the NY Post link for full grandeur.

His attitude toward non-whites was no better. Behind their backs, baseball legend Willie Mays, a Player’s Club partner, was referred to as Dykstra’s “field n – – – er”; Derek Jeter and Tiger Woods were “darkies”; and when he instructed Frankie to write an article about the “baboons,” he meant tennis superstars Venus and Serena Williams.

When Dykstra’s company was evicted from its offices due to non-payment of rent, and Dykstra tried pressuring Frankie and another employee to “use their personal credit ratings to secure loans and credit cards for the Players Club and [his company] Nails Investments,” which they wisely refused.

Source

This just in from the ass of Greece: officials have agreed to a deal, in kind, that will “levy” a one time “tax” of 20%, specifically from customers from The Bank of Cyprus–custom tailored to those are fortunate enough to have 100,000 euros in their checking accounts. For citizenry of the ass of Greece, otherwise known as Cyprus, who have accounts across the street from The Great Bank of Cyprus, you will only be levied by 4%. For those of you who are well placed and fortunate to have 99,999 euros in any bank, your money shall not be disturbed from its slumber and shall continue to earn the lavish 12.5% interest rates you have grown to respect and enjoy.

Please, feel free to eat a gyro and speak fondly about the Turkish military, as you “digest” this news. Be sure to mention this news to some of your eldest citizenry, as they are always fond of helping government officials and CEOs of banks save face and continue the status quo.

We should all rejoice in this litmus test for the new world order, a preview of things to come.

The United Steaks has so much debt and we’re all very scared of it. For the love of old books and broken grandfather clocks, the sages at the S&P have DOWNGRADED US debt–fearing we will continue a path of acute dysfunction, which could one day put the debt service in jeopardy.

Fear not, small sagely plebs from Fitch, the Cyprus model has shed light into the dark abyss. When you look into the abyss, you can see endless roads of gold, rubies and diamonds–all earmarked for the federal government at a later date. Eliminate inheritance or tax it boldly and the debt shall be $00.00.

This is a work of art in motion. The majority of you are not able to see the sleight of hand, just the mannerisms of the clever conductor.

All is good, with exception for those with accounts located at 1398 Nicosia.

Since we’re at the end of the bull cycle, I took it upon myself to bathe in the sewers of the stock market, buying stocks like PAMT, CLIR, BV and ZAGG for sport. More often than not, you can make money playing these low-brow stocks at the end of the uptrend, because that’s where plebs and lemmings are trapped and executed, when the market run ends.

The key, of course, is to get out before everyone else does–always a tricky proposition. Going in through the funnel is always easier than coming out from it.

I’m on my way out now, heading for King of Prussia shopping mall, where Mrs. Fly will (once again) attempt to bankrupt me. Marriage to date, she’s had some valiant efforts in accomplishing her end goal, but hasn’t been able to keep up with the rate of “winship” that I exemplify on a daily basis.

I will add to this list later. But this is what I have, so far.

ZAZA
FRO
SREV
PSMI
AMBA
MWW
IKAN
VTSS
IMMU

The other day, Josh Brown from Reformed Broker was quickly dismissed by a vagabond on CNBC for recommending AAPL, down at these levels. The vagabond said something along the lines of “I only buy stocks that go up”, when confronted with Brown’s idea to buy AAPL. When it comes to buying beaten down stocks in an up tape, I think we can all agree that AAPL is exceptional and should be bought by those who believe in the long term story.

Slowly but surely, AAPL is turning the corner. Have a look at some correlation statistics, pitting AAPL versus the SPY.

I own AAPL, alongside some of my other long term positions, and will be averaging down next week.

Essentially, as is always the case, “The Fly” waits for his prize.

He waits for it in the rain. He waits for it in crane.

He waits for it in the dark. He waits for it in a park.

He waits for it all the time. He even says so in a rhyme.

After the waiting is over, he watches his profits soar.

To celebrate the occasion, he kicks one or two homeless men into the calm waters, by the seashore.
Baby Fly- 1980

I was flat for the day, up 23% for the year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ynnWAVc_9A

The shippers are on fire. Perhaps it’s a play on exporting stupidity out of Cyprus.

Shares of EXM, EGLE, and DSX are ripping, not to mention my absolute favorite stock in the world, bankruptcy protected OSGIQ.

But now it’s time for a new play, a company that can file for bankruptcy and protect its stock holders at the same time. Instead of hitting bondholders and wiping out equity, I propose we start taking money out of the checking accounts of the employees to settle debts. After all, they’ve been milking companies dry for centuries. It’s about time they start paying their fair share, eating peas–so to say.

It’s the Cyprus way and I think it will work!

I did two things today.

I bought ZAGG, hoping that fraud can cause this stock to go higher. Desperate people do desperate things.

And, most importantly, I bought FRO on the hopes and dreams that they will file for bankruptcy protection soon and siphon funds out from the accounts of their employees. On that news, like Fannie, Freddie, OSG, AMR and Ambac, I expect shares to rise.

The Fed will extend swap lines to Cyprus and the ECB will concoct some ingenious plan, all to be revealed on Sunday night. I’m starting to believe these people aren’t stupid after all. They feign dumb, self-inflict crises, then drop the hammer on anyone who sold short.

What better way to win the hearts and minds of the people than destroying the opposition?

Over the past 5 years, there’s been a coordinated and very organized effort to hurt short sellers, or people who just want to get 2-3% in a savings account.

This economy favors risk, speculators, people like you and I willing to buy FRO because they are heading for bankruptcy, not because their earnings, or lack thereof, are any good.