18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Decorum has gone out the door. I don’t have time for nice words or being pleasant to a group of disheveled strangers. You motherfuckers are gonna get lit up tomorrow. Futures are off by 77. Japan is getting kicked back into the Hiroshima mushroom cloud. And Tim Cook, CEO of APPL, is still gay, single and looking.
As an aside, our Federal Reserve Chief, Grandma Yellen, is fucking retarded. She lets her Fed governors talk shit all around the country, delusional assholes who live in flyover states. If Fly was the Fed chief, he’d fucking smoke those cocksuckers with his Desert Eagle and print a trillion new dollars. I’d buy all the stocks, eat all the chickens, and kill all of the bears.
Instead, we get futures down 77– following grande motherfucking piano falling on your head trading, these past 5 days, and shit.
Before this year is done, all traders will be dead. Plus anyway, once Bernard Sanders becomes President in 2016, he will tax short term profits at 99%, effectively ravaging Wall Street of all of its gains for the benefit of a few million poor citizens.
These are the final stages of American capitalism. Before long, you will all be given a stipend. Your businesses will be seized and managed by a 300 pound woman, who grew up in a very urban setting. Your company will be forced to employ homeless people and offer healthcare, at an onerous expense.
Ten years hence, you will long for these days of profit. Over 100 trillion dollars will be owed by the US government, forcing old people into FEMA camps to be executed for the benefit of the national budget.
A NASDAQ rally for the ages is coming soon. The best way to catch it is to sit there, like a moron, and do nothing.
You can say you read it here first. When history is written and society tries to sift through the rubble, formerly known as the financial blogosphere, they will find one person to be heads and shoulders above the rest, in terms of being able to read the tea leaves.
LISTEN TO ME you fucking bastards. The Chinese scoundrels will soon be marginalized and the CEO’s of our corporations will use their greedy traits to buy back their own shares and surprise competitors with “fuck you, give me your entire company” merger overtures. I know this because I’ve seen the future.
Lesser men are sitting idle, roasting rats and porcupines over a flame, declaring end of days–eagerly reading Zerohedge for the latest scandal to rock Wall Street.
HERETO: the market is going to bounce, long and wide. Its girth will break the fucking faces of bearshitters from here to Berlin. Brace for it, you fucked faces (double entendre!).
Poof! And just like that the rally is gone. Early gains have been given up, exchanged for the utter decimation of the markets, likely fueled by forced liquidations.
Everything is so dramatic. This is a business for fucking morons, cold calling, trading like fools, making jackasses out of yourselves morons.
Ordinary people playing in the sandbox, losing all of their money on expiration day.
There is so much to hate about this business, especially after dealing with the soap opera storyline for a few decades. It grinds on you, makes you want to kick dogs and throw people off bridges. But don’t get mad, bro. You’re just succumbing to base instincts, devolving into an animal because your fucking stocks went down.
I have no idea what the market is going to do over the next 6 months. But I do know this: the rubberband is being stretched to the point of maximum pain. Since crashes are low probability trades, my money is for the sharpest motherfucking rally you’ve ever seen, followed immediately by a retest of the lows.
Apparently the biotech sector had been oversold, following the biggest two day rout of 2015, all thanks to Hillary Clinton’s comments regarding the price for drugs and the infamous price hike from the Turing CEO.
Shares of JAZZ are finally receiving respite. Unlike other biotech stocks, this company actually banks coin and will make over $10 in earnings during the fiscal year. It’s a buy.
Chinese PMI has fallen to a 6 1/2 year low. Look, all major economies have gone through these phases. The German economy underwent a hyper growth phase in the 1960’s, then cooled off. The Japanese economy went apeshit to the upside in the 80’s, causing everyone to fear they were going to finally conquer us, through purchase, in the 90’s. Do you remember that shit? I recall watching the news as a teenager back then, thinking Japan was an enemy for me to look out for, always trying to buy American real estate and fuck with American jobs.
China is slowing. The world will adjust, eventually.
In the meantime, what does the price of tea in China have to do with burgers in Brooklyn Heights? SHAK is a buy.
Finally, shares of CLX and other conservative old man stocks, that pay dividends, are a buy–especially in this environment. It’s cool to have growth in your portfolio when times are good, people cracking open champagne corks into each other’s faces. However, it’s a whole different story during bear markets. You will regret the day your Father asked your Mother to the movies, enduring a portfolio filled with growth stocks in a tape designed in hell.
I realize this small potato is being derided in the public square, a spectacle for the unwashed mob to throw their soured cabbage. He is the most hated man in the world and to some deserving of The Catherine Wheel. The truth is, this sort of insidious practice has been taking place for a long time, in our beloved pharmaceutical space. How else do you think BIIB and AMGN make all of that money?
However, two wrongs do not make a right. Moreover, this moron is especially obtuse, well deserving of the 2015 Asshat of the Year award.
Check out his latest tweet.
If I follow his logic, because this drug only affects 2,000 or so indigents, it’s okay to rip them off and purposely cause their deaths. This is Scrooge McDuck thinking, a bitter child with a new toy taking advantage of those who want to use it. I hate this side of human behavior. Whenever greed is mixed with avarice, an asshole is born.
Fuck your capitalistic rebuttals. I get “for profit” and how it is the engine for innovation. But in this particular case, after studying his background, he’s just a dipshit trying to fleece sick people who need this drug to live. This pill was $1 just a few years ago and has been bought and sold from one company to the next, eventually reaching $13.5. Good old Marty comes along and jacks the price, overnight, to $750. Bear in mind, this is a drug that has been around for over 60 years and is without patent protection. Theoretically, any generic drug company can file an NDA and put Marty out of business.
I hope it happens.
Oh, during tonight’s news Marty said he’d buckle to public opinion and lower the price from $750 to an undisclosed amount. Perhaps he’ll be gracious enough to reduce the annual cost from $600,000 to maybe an affordable $500,000?
ASSHAT!
Oh by the way update: It was because of Marty that Hillary Clinton made that comment regarding excessive drug profits. The result, over the past two days, has been a -9% drop in the biotech index, or many, many billions of dollars in market capitalization.
This was too much for me to ignore. Instead of feeling suicidal, I was invigorated by what I saw. The algorithms tap into the psyche of the reader class and know when you’re about to jump off that cliff. Right now, Exodus is spitting out insanely low scores, reminiscent of the 2009 bottom. As a point in fact, the last time scores were this low was September 22nd, 2011. Go look it up. How’s that for symmetry? Mind fuck.
Aside from that, everything else is circa 2009, 2010.
Plutonium Petey still has 15% cash. Aside from that, I’m racing, full fucking speed, towards the sun in a car made from dynamite sticks.
Over 100 NASDAQS were lost today. You might still be fighting the good fight, trying to outflank the bears with sophisticated tactics. It’s too late, for they are armed with Tsar Bombas and will soon reduce you into a science lab skeleton for all of the children to laugh at.
Hillary Rodham Clinton took a look at the biotech sector and saw an opportunity to get short. She ran to her private email box and contacted all of her Washington friends to sell short biotech, ahead of her comments. Many of these fine gents bought LAPD and are quite erect right now, excited from the profits.
Granted, once President, Hillary wouldn’t dare mess with the healthcare lobby. She’s bought and sold by them 100x over. Perhaps she wasn’t getting enough donations from them and used yesterday’s comments to motivate them.
Needless to say, with the drop dead trading action of -3.5% in the sector today, I am sure she has their undivided attention.
Biotech is one of the pillars of this market. With it careening lower, managers are forced to seek out funds elsewhere to raise cash. If they aren’t selling BIIB outright, they will sell something else. Bottom line: when leadership sectors get lit up, it tends to have a domino effect on the overall market. That’s what today is all about.
We are severely oversold. Nearly every sector is being destroyed, a familiar tune as of late. There isn’t any respite, not even utilities. This is hell, gentlemen.
Yesterday’s tepid rally was nothing more, or less, than a trap. European markets are being drilled into the floorboards, then anvils are being tossed onto them. Before the day is over, they’ll be down 4%.
I haven’t even bothered to turn on the television or read as to why futures are off by 250. I merely accept this circumstance as a part of life, something to wade through before my ultimate pineapple coffin destination.
As a young lad growing up in the sewers of Brooklyn, I always imagined a life like this. I’d go to work everyday, tortured by the stock market, then I’d die from a massive laser beam to the face, one day, amidst plenty of pomp and glory. Folk songs will be written about me, the man from the internets who used to trade stocks, until his fucking face was melted off by a laser beam to the chin.
I’m accepting of the bear market and only regret not acting sooner. But going forward, and especially after the dust settles, I know that old man stocks that pay large dividends will be where my fellow “industry professionals” will find shelter, away from the winter winds of annihilation.
