Wednesday, November 25, 2015
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FML: I Bought More Shake Shack


I need more SHAK in my life like I need a hole in my head. Since I’m fatalistic, I added to my position, which has dropped by 20% since the day I menaced short sellers that their day of reckoning had come. The earnings were so good, I was besides myself with joy, glee, and all of the idiot emotions that cause humans to behave badly.

In my defense, I didn’t put my balls where my mouth was, instead opting to wait until today to add to an already large and down position.

It’s important to note that the weakness in SHAK isn’t an isolated event. Aside from the fucking assholes at MCD, the restaurant sector is in the shitter now. It’s as if everyone has collectively lost their minds, sold out from all of the good restaurant stocks in favor of MCD.

I can’t even talk about it.

What am I looking for with SHAK, going forward?

Greatness, on an extreme scale. My downside is $28, with a long term upside of $125. The company intends to build out to 400 eateries, from the 90 or so they have now. This is a fast growing company with great brand awareness. I love buying great companies after they’ve been cast aside for the animals to pick away at.

Even still, the stock has been a huge, flaming, bag of shit on my front door.

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HLF will trade to zero and VRX to $440. But before those two amazing things happen, there will be a short squeeze, of epic and monumental proportions, in another Ackman fav: PAH.

Like all things in life, Mr. Ackman ebbs and flows. Last year he was flowing, this year, not so much.

Yesterday, in the afternoon, after a ham sandwich with mustard, noshing on a few chips, I made the decision to acquire Bill Ackman, and his considerable resources, for about $12.30. I stand before you today, at a profit from yesterday’s foray into the Pershing Square boardroom, and announce to you, here, on iBankCoin, that I’ve redoubled my investment in Bill, at a price no more than $12.90 for his PAH investment.

With today’s pledge of $12.90,  I am supporting William Albert Ackman and his endeavors to be the next Warren Buffett.

In all seriousness, PAH is now my second largest position.

NOTE: If you’ve ever laughed at one of my articles, you’ll like our Facebook page and forcibly make all of your friends and family do the same. Upon hitting 1,000, I will randomly choose one of you and mail you a box filled with stuff lying around my house.

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With a portion of my proceeds, which were safely placed inside of a Federally insured money market account, I purchased the brain and resources of world famous hedge fund manager, Bill Ackman, for a little more than $12.30.

Pershing Square owns more than 20% of PAH, which has done nothing but knife them in the face, over the past several months. With the Citron guy publicly humiliating himself on national television, regarding his VRX short, I sense a shift in the winds coming. I am sensing, using my sixth sense that was gifted to me upon birth, passed onto me, dating back 15 generations of Irish and English warriors, a vengeance of a biblical nature emanating from Mr. Ackman’s plush NYC offices.

Making fun of Bill is easy to do, fun, and exhilarating. Betting against him for an extended period of time is life ruining, absurd, and wholly unsuitable for persons interested in keeping their net worth above $00.00.

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This is it. The beginning of the holiday season for stocks and risk is on, with small caps leading the charge. I took this opportunity to sell some of my TWTR position, mainly because it’s a giant piece of fucking horseshit. And, I added to the following: XON, CNC, JAZZ and FCX.

Tuesday of last week, TNA was flagged oversold inside Exodus. The results are in; and as always, they’re impressive.



After a holding period of 3 days, the stats get real colorful, pointing to total and complete annihilation of the bears by the 10th day.

I’m up 2.3% for the day, with gains led by CNC, JAZZ and SHAK. At first I was hesitant, looking at the market hem and haw between gains and losses. But now I am convinced: bears are getting tossed the fuck out from the ring and into the pits of hell, where horned goats and transvestites will stab them with their penis’ and take away all of their money.



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Fly Buy: $CNC


I bought Centene. I have little regard for the industry and I’m not a fan of our moronic healthcare system. Nevertheless, this stock should work, as they rip their way through the middle and lower classes of American society, further ingratiating themselves with the lavish lifestyle God demanded that they have.

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I Just Did the Opposite of What I Wanted to Do


My natural inclination is to find stocks that haven’t been discovered by everyone. My gene pool must derive from some gold mining fool, who traveled to the end of the earth to find treasure. Instead of treasure, he was likely eaten by a jaguar and never heard from again.

I bought COST.

I bought it because the valuation is the most expensive in a decade, on a p/s, p/b and p/e basis. Also, it’s a widely held stock near its 52 week highs. Worst case scenario, I waste a little time inside of one of America’s premier retailers.

It should be noted, I was somewhat attracted to its November seasonality statistics, so perhaps this trade is tainted and not entirely the opposite of what I wanted.

Fuck. What a conundrum.

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Long Sand Ahead of the OPEC Meeting


I am long SLCA anyways. I added to my fucking position, ahead of tomorrow’s OPEC meeting. At some point in the not-so-distant-future, those motherfuckers are gonna be visited by space ships and those space ships are gonna send out space aliens who will then tell them “cut production, else we’ll vaporize your continent, unleash dinosaurs on your dumb asses.”

When that surprise cut happens, you will regret the day you were born, leading up to the day you decided to sell short crude.

In it to win, or die trying.

I also added to my SHAK position.

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It’s Coming: Wait for It


Stocks are soft today, thanks in large part to the commodity related industries getting drilled into the ground.

I find myself inoculated from any semblance of pullbacks, heavily long BIDU–the great chinese lying company. I’d love to make money in American companies, stocks that attract the fattest amongst us (WTW); but I’ve been unable to find respite outside of the oil and gas space. Those stocks are being liquidated today, without honors.

All that aside, the daunting nature of climbing walls and hopping over barbed wired fences: this market is going the fuck higher.

LISTEN TO ME: the month of October ends with your face filled with candy corns, happy as a goat in a field of grass, long equities because Le Fly motivated you. Fuck your inhibitions and lack of courage. These are the times to take advantage of markets. I just liquidated the rest of my UNFI position. It served me well, having made 8% in the past few weeks in it. But it’t time to move on, so I added to my long bet on Randall J Kirk, via XON.

Any company that intends to genetically modify cats is a company I am in league with.

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Back to Betting on Mr. Randall J. Kirk Again


Its been a rough couple of month’s for Randall, as he hem and hawed over his lost fortunes, likely playing with his pet birds of prey, partaking in human anatomy experiments and things of that nature.

It’s important for you to know that “The Fly” was an arch advocate of Mr. Kirk last year, having bought his stock, XON, in the mid teens. I sold out and the stock doubled, only to come crashing back down in the great biotech debacle of 2015.

This is where I draw the line. Great biotech routs should always preclude the likes of great men, such as Randall. It is his god given right to enjoy the fruits of labor, bask in the glory of research, and to lead the life his was meant to lead.

In other words, I bought XON.

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