Thursday, May 26, 2016
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Fly Buys

Hardly an Awe Inspiring Rally

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But I’ll take it. About 75% of stocks are higher today, despite the market softening from the minute it opened.

There are several headwinds to contend with, the first being oil. The absence of production cuts out of OPEC and Russia has the oil market in sell mode.

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Second is the dollar trading higher.

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European markets have reversed early gains and are now in the red.

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We were supposed to rally 200+ today.

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Nevertheless, since overall breadth is good, some gains should hold. Coming off a 300+ point rally, anything short of a complete reversal is acceptable, given the malicious tone of this market for the better part of the past two months.

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“The Fly” Wins Again

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Just shut up already, you bunch of blue beard savages soiling these great halls with your presence.

Throughout the year of our Lord, 2015, “The Fly” bobbed and weaved, crafted a work of art of a different sort for the reader class novice piker investor. You were beholden to market mastery of a different varietal, a story of a man trying to hold on to dear life. His gains were very bountiful in the beginning; but the market tested him, over and over again–attempting to vanquish him and smash his cranium about the rocks and the sea.

I stand before you a victorious man, one who has weathered to storm of perfidy and has come out a better man for it.

My largest positions aren’t moving higher today, but sprinting. The commodity run that I envisioned, through sagely intercourse with logic and imagination, has produced fruits by which I am now eating before you.

PAH, FCX and SN are all making my pagan Xmas very joyous. Very joyous, INDEUD.

To celebrate today’s triumph, I’ve taken liberties to buy more SN and FCX.

Don't Bet Against Me from iBC on Vimeo.

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Commodity Stocks Are Trying to Escape Their Graves

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Today’s 100 point move in the Dow is a bit misleading, as only 55% of stocks are higher thus far. I wouldn’t put much credence into a large Santa Claus rally. However, like I said the other day, all of the conditions are present for a face ripping commodity driven rally.

Even our good friend, The Devil, is bullish on oil stocks here.

So, using some of my available cash, I bought into a distressed oil and gas name: SN.

I made a small fortune on SN in the beginning of 2015, and I hope to repeat past success now– into the dirt of the very worst commodity rout since Jim Rogers lost his bow tie in the jungles of Africa.

Bear with me.

The market isn’t a friendly environ. As a matter of fact, its been downright diabolical. Buying into SN here is almost gambling–but more of a calculated bet that the vast majority of oil bears have cleaned house and might look to cover their shorts ahead of what could be a repeat of early 2015.

Good luck with those dynamite sticks.

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New Fly Buys Ahead of Fed

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I sold out of more than half of my CNC position and added to FCX and JAZZ.

The JAZZ purchase was a much larger buy, assets wise. But my heart is in the FCX trade, which has done nothing but harangue me ever since I bought it.

I increased my FCX position by 30%

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Adding to a Sucker

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I bought more PAH, despite it sucking the money out from my portfolios today.

My faith in William Albert Ackman is unwavering.

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I Just Bought More Valeant Pharmaceuticals

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All of these allegions running wild about the veracity of VRX’s business model has me voraciously acquiring its shares.

My name isn’t Bill Albert Ackman and I’ve never tried to turn around piece of shit retailer JCP; but I am long VRX here, looking to crucify shorts who find themselves squeezed here.

Biotechs were pummeled into dust; but VRX surged ahead.

I even got into a little “back and forth” with the lad who liked to attack VRX on his blospot address.

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This is how it’s going down. Stocks will trade flat, but Bill Ackman and a consortium of like minded friends will push the envelope on VRX–burning all of the short sellers alive, actually killing them. By the time pagan X-mas is here, I will be popping corks of champagne into the tweets of that blogspot gent, while laughing and screaming, all the way to the bank.

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FML: I Bought More Shake Shack

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I need more SHAK in my life like I need a hole in my head. Since I’m fatalistic, I added to my position, which has dropped by 20% since the day I menaced short sellers that their day of reckoning had come. The earnings were so good, I was besides myself with joy, glee, and all of the idiot emotions that cause humans to behave badly.

In my defense, I didn’t put my balls where my mouth was, instead opting to wait until today to add to an already large and down position.

It’s important to note that the weakness in SHAK isn’t an isolated event. Aside from the fucking assholes at MCD, the restaurant sector is in the shitter now. It’s as if everyone has collectively lost their minds, sold out from all of the good restaurant stocks in favor of MCD.

I can’t even talk about it.

What am I looking for with SHAK, going forward?

Greatness, on an extreme scale. My downside is $28, with a long term upside of $125. The company intends to build out to 400 eateries, from the 90 or so they have now. This is a fast growing company with great brand awareness. I love buying great companies after they’ve been cast aside for the animals to pick away at.

Even still, the stock has been a huge, flaming, bag of shit on my front door.

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CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT WILLIAM ALBERT ACKMAN

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HLF will trade to zero and VRX to $440. But before those two amazing things happen, there will be a short squeeze, of epic and monumental proportions, in another Ackman fav: PAH.

Like all things in life, Mr. Ackman ebbs and flows. Last year he was flowing, this year, not so much.

Yesterday, in the afternoon, after a ham sandwich with mustard, noshing on a few chips, I made the decision to acquire Bill Ackman, and his considerable resources, for about $12.30. I stand before you today, at a profit from yesterday’s foray into the Pershing Square boardroom, and announce to you, here, on iBankCoin, that I’ve redoubled my investment in Bill, at a price no more than $12.90 for his PAH investment.

With today’s pledge of $12.90,  I am supporting William Albert Ackman and his endeavors to be the next Warren Buffett.

In all seriousness, PAH is now my second largest position.

NOTE: If you’ve ever laughed at one of my articles, you’ll like our Facebook page and forcibly make all of your friends and family do the same. Upon hitting 1,000, I will randomly choose one of you and mail you a box filled with stuff lying around my house.

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I AM BUYING WILLIAM ALBERT ACKMAN, VERY CHEAPLY

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With a portion of my proceeds, which were safely placed inside of a Federally insured money market account, I purchased the brain and resources of world famous hedge fund manager, Bill Ackman, for a little more than $12.30.

Pershing Square owns more than 20% of PAH, which has done nothing but knife them in the face, over the past several months. With the Citron guy publicly humiliating himself on national television, regarding his VRX short, I sense a shift in the winds coming. I am sensing, using my sixth sense that was gifted to me upon birth, passed onto me, dating back 15 generations of Irish and English warriors, a vengeance of a biblical nature emanating from Mr. Ackman’s plush NYC offices.

Making fun of Bill is easy to do, fun, and exhilarating. Betting against him for an extended period of time is life ruining, absurd, and wholly unsuitable for persons interested in keeping their net worth above $00.00.

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STOCKS FLY; SO DO SHORT SELLERS

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This is it. The beginning of the holiday season for stocks and risk is on, with small caps leading the charge. I took this opportunity to sell some of my TWTR position, mainly because it’s a giant piece of fucking horseshit. And, I added to the following: XON, CNC, JAZZ and FCX.

Tuesday of last week, TNA was flagged oversold inside Exodus. The results are in; and as always, they’re impressive.

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After a holding period of 3 days, the stats get real colorful, pointing to total and complete annihilation of the bears by the 10th day.

I’m up 2.3% for the day, with gains led by CNC, JAZZ and SHAK. At first I was hesitant, looking at the market hem and haw between gains and losses. But now I am convinced: bears are getting tossed the fuck out from the ring and into the pits of hell, where horned goats and transvestites will stab them with their penis’ and take away all of their money.

 

 

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