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Diary of a Bearshitter, entry #2

Dear Diary,

Today was almost a really fucked up day. The market got me real scared today, especially when it was up like a gazillion points early on. I was lucky to have some SRS, as the real estate stocks knifed lower because they fucking suck. I saw that criminal bankster, Jamie Dimon, bitch and whine to the other criminal Bernanke yesterday about regulations. If it was up to me, I’d cut their dicks off with a pet crocodile. It’s so amazing to see people buying stocks, like “HELLO you fucking asshole.” Geez, I suppose these people will all die when the next depression hits. No sweat off my brow. I will be fine because I have 10 years worth of dried food in my basement.

The internet was pretty boring today. Not even “The Fly” was around much. I wish that guy would just get hit by an old fashioned railroad or something. He can be such an asshole. If the market trades up, he will start bragging again about how his stupid time machine knew about this and so forth and so on. It’s so pathetically dicksucking that he gets away with these things.

My date went okay last night. But I am pretty sure she is going to break up with me. I don’t think she was impressed with my dried food collection and dinner at Perkins. She wanted to go to some asshole sushi place that costs like $90 per person. Fucking bitch. I guess she doesn’t read the news to know that Japan, largest exporter of sushi in the world, is one giant toxic dump. I say “no thanks” to cancer every time.

Anyway, I am going to cut out from work tomorrow. A few friends of mine are coordinating an anti-Monsanto rally tomorrow. Hopefully the market will just crash already and get done with it, so I can quit my stupid job and troll around the internet all day with my millions of dollars in the market. ROFL. A guy can dream.

Okay, got to run. My Mother and her asshole husband are coming over for dinner tonight. Guess who will be eating spaghetti and spit-meatballs?

Talk to you soon,


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