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Asshat of the Year Award: Doug Kass

It was a year replete with Asshats, men and women making complete fools of themselves — as mankind tends to do on a continuous basis. But, just like in the book Animal Farm, some fools are more equal than others.

Enter Doug Kass.

During the height of Hillary Clinton’s campaign, buoyed by a biased media and rigged polls, Mr. Kass took time out from his day to venture on over to have a chat with the strange man at Bloomberg, who is seemingly obsessed with bow-ties and what college professors are up to, Tom Keene. During his interview, accompanied by an analyst from Citi, Kass predicted, quite effervescently and with ample degrees of energy, that Donald Trump would, in fact, DROP OUT of the race for President of the United States.

Both him and the Citi analyst were practically orgasmic over the specter of such a humiliating occurrence — which would, of course, equate to the ascension of the first female president of the United States, Hillary Clinton.


As the campaign carried on, I kept tabs on Mr. Kass to make sure he knew that he owned that video and would one day pay for it.

Today is that day.

Congratulations Mr. Douglass Kass for winning 2016’s Asshat of the Year Award. You certainly earned the distinction.

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Asshat of 2015: Martin Shkreli

Before you read my post, watch this video.

I realize this small potato is being derided in the public square, a spectacle for the unwashed mob to throw their soured cabbage. He is the most hated man in the world and to some deserving of The Catherine Wheel. The truth is, this sort of insidious practice has been taking place for a long time, in our beloved pharmaceutical space. How else do you think BIIB and AMGN make all of that money?

However, two wrongs do not make a right. Moreover, this moron is especially obtuse, well deserving of the 2015 Asshat of the Year award.

Check out his latest tweet.




If I follow his logic, because this drug only affects 2,000 or so indigents, it’s okay to rip them off and purposely cause their deaths. This is Scrooge McDuck thinking, a bitter child with a new toy taking advantage of those who want to use it. I hate this side of human behavior. Whenever greed is mixed with avarice, an asshole is born.

Fuck your capitalistic rebuttals. I get “for profit” and how it is the engine for innovation. But in this particular case, after studying his background, he’s just a dipshit trying to fleece sick people who need this drug to live. This pill was $1 just a few years ago and has been bought and sold from one company to the next, eventually reaching $13.5. Good old Marty comes along and jacks the price, overnight, to $750. Bear in mind, this is a drug that has been around for over 60 years and is without patent protection. Theoretically, any generic drug company can file an NDA and put Marty out of business.

I hope it happens.

Oh, during tonight’s news Marty said he’d buckle to public opinion and lower the price from $750 to an undisclosed amount. Perhaps he’ll be gracious enough to reduce the annual cost from $600,000 to maybe an affordable $500,000?



Oh by the way update: It was because of Marty that Hillary Clinton made that comment regarding excessive drug profits. The result, over the past two days, has been a -9% drop in the biotech index, or many, many billions of dollars in market capitalization.

Update: Zerohedge has some interesting color on Marty.

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Asshat of the Year Award: Dave Dewalt, CEO of $FEYE

Dave Dewalt, Huge Asshat Award Winner, ceo publicly traded time bomb, FireEye

I know it’s early in the year and there will be plenty of gents worthy of this distinguished award. However, it would be impossible for anyone to steal this guy’s thunder inside of the next 7 months of 2014.

Introducing, Dave Dewalt, CEO of publicly traded time bomb called Fireeye, Asshat winner.

Let’s go over a series of events that has led Dave to this post.

3/3/14– FEYE is offering 5.582 mln shares of its common stock and selling shareholders are offering an additional ~8.417 mln shares (85.64 )

3/5/14– FireEye (+3.5%) makes new all time high — FBR raised tgt to $105 this morning — co is expected to price 5.6 mln share offering THursday night (91.27 +2.98)

3/7/14– FireEye prices follow-on public offering of 14 mln shares of common stock at $82.00 per share by co and selling shareholders (89.55 ) Of the shares being offered, 5,582,215 are being offered by FireEye and the remaining shares are being offered by existing stockholders.

3/19/14– FireEye showing early weakness; note that IPO lock-up period expired today (73.50 -4.25) The stock has pulled back ahead of the lock-up expiration, -23% from its early March highs, but the stock is still up 265% from its initial IPO pricing of $20.00 (stock opened for trading at $40.30 on 9/20/2013).

4/10/14– Cyber Security stocks getting hit following Imperva (IMPV) warning as tech/momentum stocks pare this week’s bounce (29.11 -20.62) IMPV is down ~42% at a 17 month low after lowering Q1 guidance.

4/22/14– Fireeye (FEYE) field for a ~13.28 mln share common stock offering by selling stockholders.

 5/6/14– FireEye reports EPS in-line, beats on revs; guides Q2 EPS below consensus, revs above consensus; lowers FY14 EPS below consensus, raises FY14 revs in-line (37.13 -3.10) Reports Q1 (Mar) loss of $0.53 per share, excluding non-recurring items, in-line with the Capital IQ Consensus Estimate consensus of ($0.53); revenues rose 160.6% year/year to $74 mln vs the $71.66 mln consensus.

  • Co issues guidance for Q2, sees EPS of ($0.63) – ($0.58), excluding non-recurring items, vs. ($0.51) Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; sees Q2 revs of $89-91 mln vs. $87.71 mln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate. Q2 Guidance: Total billings in the range of $108 to $112 million. Gross margin in the range of 68 to 70 percent.

  • Co issues guidance for FY14, lowers EPS to ($2.30) – ($2.10), from ($2.20) – ($2.00) excluding non-recurring items, vs. ($2.04) Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; raises FY14 revs to $405-415 mln from $400-410 mln vs. $406.96 mln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate. FY14 Guidance: Raises total billings to be in the range of $550 to $570 million from prior guidance of $540-560 mln. Gross margin in the range of 70 to 73 percent.

  • First quarter billings were $99.2 million, compared with the previously issued guidance range of $84 to $88 million. Total billings included $26.1 million in product billings, $39.4 million in product subscription billings, $18.0 million in professional services billings and $15.7 million in support and maintenance billings.

  • In a separate release, FireEye announced the execution of a definitive agreement to acquire privately-held nPulse Technologies, a network forensics company. As consideration for the acquisition, FireEye will pay ~$60 million in cash, and issue ~$10 million stock consideration that is subject to the achievement of certain milestones.

I had to document the series of events that has led us to this point. The stock, mind you, is down over 60% since March! Dave, FireEye’s CEO, bought a company called Mandiant. Very nice. Then, when the price was $82, he issued a secondary, JUST AHEAD of the expiration of shares in lock-up. This is a no-no, especially for new companies with weak shareholder bases.  Dave didn’t stop there.

Shortly after the lock up period expired, their competitor, IMPV, warned, sending the stock careening lower by 42%. As CEO of a company in a similar space, and seeing your share price getting crushed on a daily basis, one would think Dave might take steps to protect his shareholders, no?


About 10 days after the IMPV disaster, Dave announced ANOTHER secondary. Keep in mind, this wasn’t an effort by the company to raise cash. Quite the contrary. This was an offering to allow Mandiant insiders sell their stock! Unbelievable! He is truly a destroyer of shareholder confidence and value. Awesome stuff.

Hindsight is 20/20. But, as CEO of the company, Dave had to have known that his quarter was not so hot. Yesterday FEYE reported a disastrous quarter, missing EPS estimates by a football field. Did Dave announce a share buy back or offer some sort of soothing remarks in an attempt to stop the bleeding?

Of course not. He’s an asshat.

On top of the earnings miss and horrendous stock activity, Dave announced ANOTHER acquisition, using $60 million in much needed cash and an intent to ISSUE MORE SHARES, to the tune of $10 million.

This guy is totally tone deaf. These events should be bookmarked and shared across universities around the world, as a lesson to future CEOs of what not to do. The wanton disregard for shareholders, the arrogance, the sense of entitlement, operating in a vacuum, all of these things make Dave Dewalt an asshat of supreme magnitude.

Seeing the shares of FEYE down more than 20% this morning, I think it’s fair to say his job is in jeopardy, rightfully so.

Nevertheless, congratulations to Mr. Dewalt for this unprecedented accomplishment, in receiving an annual asshat award, even though we are only in the month of May.


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This was an easy one. Some years the Asshat award is deliberated, mulled over for weeks amidst cigar smoke filled rooms strewn with supporting documents for prospective candidates. However, in the year of our Lord 2013, Bill Ackman stole the show, without a contest.

It was an especially  humiliating year for Bill, due to two of his high profile positions, long JCP, short HLF, continuously punching him in the proverbial face, with special thanks to Carl Icahn. With Ackman’s support, Ron Johnson, ex CEO of JCP, nearly destroyed the century plus old retailer in little less than a year, seeing its share price carved in half, then carved in half, yet again. Following Ackman’s infamous “XMAS PUMP” of 2012, shares of HLF pretty much tripled in 2013, taking hundreds of millions of Bill’s money in the process.

At the same time, Carl Icahn played antagonist and destroyer to Bill’s credentials as a top shelf money manager, firmly placing Pershing Square into “Camp LAMBDA, LAMBDA, LAMBDA“, selling cream pies with Darth Vader helmets on.

Maybe Bill and co are working on some special “aero-dynamically” superior javelins  and will take revenge upon Carl and other jocks in 2014. However, until that day comes, he will remain an Asshat, forever remembered as the guy who blew up on the centre stage, losing to a 150 year old guy in a vitamin stock, wearing Joe Fresh shorts and stealing away coupons from senior citizens.

Congrats to “Montauk Bil” Ackman.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDWMcM2b2o0 603 400]


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2008 was the year of the asshat.

There were so many dicks in 2008, one would think the world was one big dick factory, incidentally, chock-ful of asshats.

There was the likes of Dick Bove, and his insane “buy of a lifetime” call on C, above $20. Let’s not forget he emphatically said LEH would “make it,” just prior to its demise. There was the CEO of Profunds, Mike Sapir, and his fucking lunatic set of 200% inverse/upside IRON LOTUS etf’s, which are kindly designed so that EVERYONE loses.

Fucking asshats!

Let’s not forget Paulson, Kass, Cramer of TSCM, Yang of YHOO, “Dr. Eli Harari” of SNDK, Feder of TTWO, Bernie Madoff, Chris Cox, Spitzer, Fuld of LEH, Ken “hands” Fisher etc. No kidding, I could go on and on.

However, in my humble, yet potent opinion, only one man deserves the Asshat of the Year Award for 2008. Without further adieu, let me introduce:

Bill Miller, Retarded Money Manager, Legg Mason

At one time Bill was a good investor. Fuck all of the accolades that erroneously labeled him a “great investor.” For the love of small microchips and green trees, the market was going up, when he was sucking its dick. However, in 2008, the stock Gods gave Bill a steel pipe to the mouth, taxing his Legg Mason flagship fund by more than 56%, according to the most recent data.

Hell, Bill’s whole family of funds is down in the deep 30-40% range, all because he (Bill) is a large sucker of bank cock, not to be confused with the cesspool in Thailand.

His portfolio is littered with all sorts of stupid shit, from AMZN to C. However, Bill nailed down the Asshat Award for one reason and one reason only: He fucking doubled down on his Freddie Mac position, just prior to it being seized by the government.

Let me clarify. If you recall, at the time Bill “averaged down” in FRE, it was almost a foregone conclusion that the Gov’t was going to takeover FNM/FRE, in order to ‘save the world’ part 20. For the love of nuclear bombs and hydrogen fuel, some of the “smart managers” stepped in on FRE bonds or preferred. But Bill, in his infinite asshattishness, stepped in and bought more lowly common stock.


Despite being fired by pension funds and crushing the 401k plans of millions, Legg Mason is still backing Bill. They must “enjoy” his investment performance, in some sick, distorted, mentally ill manner.

Even though Bill is an extreme asshat, with very little investment skill, CNBC was proud to announce that he called another bottom in the banks, just a few weeks ago.

Prepare for another “legg lower,” if I may be so bold. Get it? HAR-HAR-HAR.

Bottom line: If I am correct about Bill Miller, which I most certainly am, LM is in for a very arduous 2009.

Nonetheless, congrats to Bill Miller for winning the Asshat of the Year Award for 2008; he certainly earned it!

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Asshat of the Year Award: Angelo Mozilo

“How ’bout a year end Asshat of the Year Award?”

Angelo Mozilo, CEO, Countrywide Financial 

Oh, there were so many candidates, for “Asshat of the Year Award” in 2007, since there were so many asshats. However, I think it’s fair to say, Angelo “stole the cake,” ate it, then baked a new one.

Mozilo, not to be confused with Firefox’s “mozilla,” or former Met “Lee Mazzilli, is an asshat.

I refuse to explain the reasons as to why Angelo is an asshat. Just look at his stock, [[CFC]].

In short, men like Angelo fucked up the world, with their weak lending standards. Many people will lose their jobs and have their lives flipped upside down, thanks to the retard-in-charge at CFC.

Congrats to Angelo.

A true master in the arts of Asshattery.

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