ASSHAT OF THE YEAR AWARD: BILL ACKMAN

This was an easy one. Some years the Asshat award is deliberated, mulled over for weeks amidst cigar smoke filled rooms strewn with supporting documents for prospective candidates. However, in the year of our Lord 2013, Bill Ackman stole the show, without a contest.

It was an especially  humiliating year for Bill, due to two of his high profile positions, long JCP, short HLF, continuously punching him in the proverbial face, with special thanks to Carl Icahn. With Ackman’s support, Ron Johnson, ex CEO of JCP, nearly destroyed the century plus old retailer in little less than a year, seeing its share price carved in half, then carved in half, yet again. Following Ackman’s infamous “XMAS PUMP” of 2012, shares of HLF pretty much tripled in 2013, taking hundreds of millions of Bill’s money in the process.

At the same time, Carl Icahn played antagonist and destroyer to Bill’s credentials as a top shelf money manager, firmly placing Pershing Square into “Camp LAMBDA, LAMBDA, LAMBDA“, selling cream pies with Darth Vader helmets on.

Maybe Bill and co are working on some special “aero-dynamically” superior javelins  and will take revenge upon Carl and other jocks in 2014. However, until that day comes, he will remain an Asshat, forever remembered as the guy who blew up on the centre stage, losing to a 150 year old guy in a vitamin stock, wearing Joe Fresh shorts and stealing away coupons from senior citizens.

Congrats to “Montauk Bil” Ackman.

 

THE 2008 ASSHAT OF THE YEAR AWARD

2008 was the year of the asshat.

There were so many dicks in 2008, one would think the world was one big dick factory, incidentally, chock-ful of asshats.

There was the likes of Dick Bove, and his insane “buy of a lifetime” call on C, above $20. Let’s not forget he emphatically said LEH would “make it,” just prior to its demise. There was the CEO of Profunds, Mike Sapir, and his fucking lunatic set of 200% inverse/upside IRON LOTUS etf’s, which are kindly designed so that EVERYONE loses.

Fucking asshats!

Let’s not forget Paulson, Kass, Cramer of TSCM, Yang of YHOO, “Dr. Eli Harari” of SNDK, Feder of TTWO, Bernie Madoff, Chris Cox, Spitzer, Fuld of LEH, Ken “hands” Fisher etc. No kidding, I could go on and on.

However, in my humble, yet potent opinion, only one man deserves the Asshat of the Year Award for 2008. Without further adieu, let me introduce:

Bill Miller, Retarded Money Manager, Legg Mason

At one time Bill was a good investor. Fuck all of the accolades that erroneously labeled him a “great investor.” For the love of small microchips and green trees, the market was going up, when he was sucking its dick. However, in 2008, the stock Gods gave Bill a steel pipe to the mouth, taxing his Legg Mason flagship fund by more than 56%, according to the most recent data.

Hell, Bill’s whole family of funds is down in the deep 30-40% range, all because he (Bill) is a large sucker of bank cock, not to be confused with the cesspool in Thailand.

His portfolio is littered with all sorts of stupid shit, from AMZN to C. However, Bill nailed down the Asshat Award for one reason and one reason only: He fucking doubled down on his Freddie Mac position, just prior to it being seized by the government.

Let me clarify. If you recall, at the time Bill “averaged down” in FRE, it was almost a foregone conclusion that the Gov’t was going to takeover FNM/FRE, in order to ‘save the world’ part 20. For the love of nuclear bombs and hydrogen fuel, some of the “smart managers” stepped in on FRE bonds or preferred. But Bill, in his infinite asshattishness, stepped in and bought more lowly common stock.

Asshat!

Despite being fired by pension funds and crushing the 401k plans of millions, Legg Mason is still backing Bill. They must “enjoy” his investment performance, in some sick, distorted, mentally ill manner.

Even though Bill is an extreme asshat, with very little investment skill, CNBC was proud to announce that he called another bottom in the banks, just a few weeks ago.

Prepare for another “legg lower,” if I may be so bold. Get it? HAR-HAR-HAR.

Bottom line: If I am correct about Bill Miller, which I most certainly am, LM is in for a very arduous 2009.

Nonetheless, congrats to Bill Miller for winning the Asshat of the Year Award for 2008; he certainly earned it!

Asshat of the Year Award: Angelo Mozilo

“How ’bout a year end Asshat of the Year Award?”

Angelo Mozilo, CEO, Countrywide Financial 

Oh, there were so many candidates, for “Asshat of the Year Award” in 2007, since there were so many asshats. However, I think it’s fair to say, Angelo “stole the cake,” ate it, then baked a new one.

Mozilo, not to be confused with Firefox’s “mozilla,” or former Met “Lee Mazzilli, is an asshat.

I refuse to explain the reasons as to why Angelo is an asshat. Just look at his stock, [[CFC]].

In short, men like Angelo fucked up the world, with their weak lending standards. Many people will lose their jobs and have their lives flipped upside down, thanks to the retard-in-charge at CFC.

Congrats to Angelo.

A true master in the arts of Asshattery.

ASSHAT OF THE YEAR AWARD: BILL ACKMAN

This was an easy one. Some years the Asshat award is deliberated, mulled over for weeks amidst cigar smoke filled rooms strewn with supporting documents for prospective candidates. However, in the year of our Lord 2013, Bill Ackman stole the show, without a contest.

It was an especially  humiliating year for Bill, due to two of his high profile positions, long JCP, short HLF, continuously punching him in the proverbial face, with special thanks to Carl Icahn. With Ackman’s support, Ron Johnson, ex CEO of JCP, nearly destroyed the century plus old retailer in little less than a year, seeing its share price carved in half, then carved in half, yet again. Following Ackman’s infamous “XMAS PUMP” of 2012, shares of HLF pretty much tripled in 2013, taking hundreds of millions of Bill’s money in the process.

At the same time, Carl Icahn played antagonist and destroyer to Bill’s credentials as a top shelf money manager, firmly placing Pershing Square into “Camp LAMBDA, LAMBDA, LAMBDA“, selling cream pies with Darth Vader helmets on.

Maybe Bill and co are working on some special “aero-dynamically” superior javelins  and will take revenge upon Carl and other jocks in 2014. However, until that day comes, he will remain an Asshat, forever remembered as the guy who blew up on the centre stage, losing to a 150 year old guy in a vitamin stock, wearing Joe Fresh shorts and stealing away coupons from senior citizens.

Congrats to “Montauk Bil” Ackman.

 

THE 2008 ASSHAT OF THE YEAR AWARD

2008 was the year of the asshat.

There were so many dicks in 2008, one would think the world was one big dick factory, incidentally, chock-ful of asshats.

There was the likes of Dick Bove, and his insane “buy of a lifetime” call on C, above $20. Let’s not forget he emphatically said LEH would “make it,” just prior to its demise. There was the CEO of Profunds, Mike Sapir, and his fucking lunatic set of 200% inverse/upside IRON LOTUS etf’s, which are kindly designed so that EVERYONE loses.

Fucking asshats!

Let’s not forget Paulson, Kass, Cramer of TSCM, Yang of YHOO, “Dr. Eli Harari” of SNDK, Feder of TTWO, Bernie Madoff, Chris Cox, Spitzer, Fuld of LEH, Ken “hands” Fisher etc. No kidding, I could go on and on.

However, in my humble, yet potent opinion, only one man deserves the Asshat of the Year Award for 2008. Without further adieu, let me introduce:

Bill Miller, Retarded Money Manager, Legg Mason

At one time Bill was a good investor. Fuck all of the accolades that erroneously labeled him a “great investor.” For the love of small microchips and green trees, the market was going up, when he was sucking its dick. However, in 2008, the stock Gods gave Bill a steel pipe to the mouth, taxing his Legg Mason flagship fund by more than 56%, according to the most recent data.

Hell, Bill’s whole family of funds is down in the deep 30-40% range, all because he (Bill) is a large sucker of bank cock, not to be confused with the cesspool in Thailand.

His portfolio is littered with all sorts of stupid shit, from AMZN to C. However, Bill nailed down the Asshat Award for one reason and one reason only: He fucking doubled down on his Freddie Mac position, just prior to it being seized by the government.

Let me clarify. If you recall, at the time Bill “averaged down” in FRE, it was almost a foregone conclusion that the Gov’t was going to takeover FNM/FRE, in order to ‘save the world’ part 20. For the love of nuclear bombs and hydrogen fuel, some of the “smart managers” stepped in on FRE bonds or preferred. But Bill, in his infinite asshattishness, stepped in and bought more lowly common stock.

Asshat!

Despite being fired by pension funds and crushing the 401k plans of millions, Legg Mason is still backing Bill. They must “enjoy” his investment performance, in some sick, distorted, mentally ill manner.

Even though Bill is an extreme asshat, with very little investment skill, CNBC was proud to announce that he called another bottom in the banks, just a few weeks ago.

Prepare for another “legg lower,” if I may be so bold. Get it? HAR-HAR-HAR.

Bottom line: If I am correct about Bill Miller, which I most certainly am, LM is in for a very arduous 2009.

Nonetheless, congrats to Bill Miller for winning the Asshat of the Year Award for 2008; he certainly earned it!

Asshat of the Year Award: Angelo Mozilo

“How ’bout a year end Asshat of the Year Award?”

Angelo Mozilo, CEO, Countrywide Financial 

Oh, there were so many candidates, for “Asshat of the Year Award” in 2007, since there were so many asshats. However, I think it’s fair to say, Angelo “stole the cake,” ate it, then baked a new one.

Mozilo, not to be confused with Firefox’s “mozilla,” or former Met “Lee Mazzilli, is an asshat.

I refuse to explain the reasons as to why Angelo is an asshat. Just look at his stock, [[CFC]].

In short, men like Angelo fucked up the world, with their weak lending standards. Many people will lose their jobs and have their lives flipped upside down, thanks to the retard-in-charge at CFC.

Congrats to Angelo.

A true master in the arts of Asshattery.

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