Tim Seymour, Asshat
Watching a replay of tonight’s Fast Money, I discovered a man well deserving of the Asshat Trophy. The “King of Russian Equities,” proclaimer of all cheap things in Asia, Tim Seymour, disclosed he was long my enemy, [[FXI]] , in a most egregious fashion, if I might be so bold as to say so.
First of all, the name “Tim” gets no points with “The Fly.” In the 32 Godly years being alive, I have yet to meet a man/woman named “Tim” that was not deserving of an “apple pie sandwich” to the face.
Anyway, Tim, from Seygem Asset Management, was rambling on about how much those Chinese bastards are liars (I am paraphrasing), while acting in a very “cocaine-ish” type of manner, if you know what I mean. Tim said many great things about how gay the Chinese market/economy is and was, much to my delight. I’ll have you know, “The Fly” was warming up to this Tim guy, while wolfing down junk food.
However, in an odd twist of Chinese fuckery, something that cannot be explained using the laws of modern science and/or reason, he (Tim) then proceeded to disclose (in a very deliberate slow motion sort of way) it might be “worth a shot” (again paraphrasing) getting long China in huge gay ways (paraphrasing, yet again), down at these ‘tard levels. Then some little breaking news flash thingy raced under his name, disclosing he was, in fact, long [[FXI]] .
(Gasp for air)
I stopped eating my potato chips. Suddenly, I became enraged with the joy of knowing that sometime soon, I would relish in the opportunity of destroying this man named “Tim,” with all of my frantic/over caffeinated might and superior intelligence quotient, without ever having to meet him—which is mildly “chagrinful.”
See, young lads, I shall buy [[FXP]] (the opposite of FXI) until the “white flag of certain surrender “is perched upon his ass backwards Russian automobile. I shall rub it in, mind you, until Mr. Tim shaves his full head of hair off, due to extreme shame.
There shall be no quarter given to this man, even if he happens to legally change his forename to something other than “Tim;” he shall receive the ever ominous, yet risible, black flag.
Oh, and he also gets an Asshat of the Week Award.