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Chart Art: $IMMR

This one will be auctioned at Sotheby’s next Saturday.

Starting bid: $99,999,999.00


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I call this one “This Time is Different”

Sale location: Sotheby’s
Starting Bid: $150 billion


[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUpFTM5s4UA 603 500]

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The City Square Rumbles With the Sound of Medieval Machinery

The city square was buzzing with onlookers, as the dick-guillotines were dragged and pushed to the center of the city. One by one, short sellers of all kinds were rounded up by law abiding citizens and placed inside of ‘penis liberators’, all the while the good tax payers of the city threw cabbage, garbage and bales of hay at the accused.

I sat there with pen and pad, and nothing more than a cup of tea to keep me warm. The weather was furious, well below negative 40 degrees fahrenheit–but the crowd of city tax payers and members of the great working class union behaved with the same zeal as a vacationing pleb somewhere in the tropic of capricorn. It was mandated long ago by our leader, Benjamin Bernanke, that ‘any and all short sellers shall be castrated and pushed from fertile lands, outcasted by society and labeled pariah by all who are good and just.’

NOTE: A portrait of the days events can be seen here.

Top picks: JRCC, EXK, HMC

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“The Fuckbook” starring Margin Stanley

I edged higher by 0.7%, despite having a fucking sinkhole heavily overweighted in my portfolios. As it stands now, YELP represents just 20% of my assets, thanks to all of that awesome depreciation. Thank the heavens for my other stocks, like TEX, EXK, MTW and NXPI, carrying the water for my YELP.

Naturally, the social media sector is being compressed, all thanks to the purposeful and criminal elements inside of the once great firm “Margin Stanley” (h/t:ZH).

The sniveling bastards at MS are the reason why my YELP is going lower. Nothing about YELP matters right now, but the valuation comparison to FB. As the FUCKBOOK valuation drops, so do its peers. I hope the spastic retards at MS (pun intended!) enjoy the 1.1% fee they received for doing the FB deal. Oh, what a splendid job they did too, inviting a bunch of flippers into the deal, fucking it from day 1 because their valuation metrics were off kilter.

See, Margin Stanley is a microcosm of what is wrong with present day America. One day, MS will go bankrupt or delve into oblivion forever. How do I know this? The fucking writing is all over the FUCKBOOK wall (another pun, and yes it was intended!). At this stage, all I can do it make up my YELP losses elsewhere and wait for the company to prove itself, independent from the leviathan that is FB.

With regards to the market: standard bounce, nothing too grande. Let’s see what tomorrow brings before we get excited.

BONUS: Chart Art.

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Chart Art: EXK

This chart will be auctioned at Sotheby’s this spring.

Starting bid: $500,000

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Double Down or Sell Out

This morning I hit the crossroads on my VXX position, down 10%. One of my rules when evaluating positions is to determine at -10% if the stock is worth doubling down on or cutting the loss. At this level, the loss is still small. If I double down and it reverses higher, I’ll be driving up winship lane in no time at all.

To help me make this decision, I fell back on a little “t and a” to assist me with my “dilemma.”

As you can clearly see, that automobile is looking like an alligator and it’s emitting black smoke from its tailpipe, always an ominous sign. At sub 20 on the VIX, typically, it’s a good idea to build a position and just wait for the shit to hit the fan. Don’t worry about the rest, for the fan will spread the shit without pause. Finally, please take note of the “cock and balls” pattern forming. This is HIGH PROBABILITY occurrence and should be respected by market participants.

Needless to say, I doubled down on my VXX tits this morning.

Aside from that, I’m still eyeballing a few oil stocks for purchase. And, DECK is shitting the shower, as predicted by a certain SAM POSER. Well done, Sir. If I cared enough, I’d offer you a sincere apology for my critique.

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Chart Art: Copper

Title: “They call me Dr. Copper”
Auction House: Sothebys
Date: 9/30/11
Time: 11:59pm
Starting Bid: $99,000

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