Dick Fuld Raises Money for Lehman

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhkt6fpCY6c 450 300]

As you know, “The Fly” was expecting to see a short squeeze rally, especially in the financials.

This is the part of the downturn, where everyone says: “hey asshole, it’s not that bad. Plus, there’s lots of cash on the sidelines,  dying to get in.”

I love how fucktarded pundits think idle cash is always “dying to enter the market.”

I know people with 10 million in their bank accounts, zero in the market, who could give two fucks and a gay goat about investing in this rigged game. Most normal people are sick of the market and its stupid ways; they rather invest in their own business.

Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, this is my business.

Hell, if I owned a chain of asshatteries, grossing more than 10 million per year, I would never visit this retarded website or have an urge to participate in asinine “short squeezes.”

With oil selling off a little, people with small brains are selling out their oil positions, due to fears of a “top.” Also, financials are sprinting higher, with exception to the “fortune cookie morons” at [[LEH]].

My short in [[CHL]] is still working. However, should this mini rally extend, it will cave into the bulls. It always does.

This rally was made for suckers. I will sell into it, while quietly sipping on a cup of crude oil.

Top pick: [[RIG]]

I sold out of my [[AAPL]] @ $183.56

Everyone I know is bearish on oil. They exclaim: “No way is this price gonna stick, fughetiboutit.” As they are saying that, covertly, I add to my bountiful oil positions.

All of the talking heads on CNBC have declared a bottom in the market and a top in oil, about 10,000 times this year. Once upon a time, “The Fly” attempted to “time the top” in crude, and most recently corn, neither worked out in my favour [sic].

The sooner you come to grips with the stark reality of not knowing what the fuck you are talking about, the sooner you will start banking coin.

This is true.

Oil is going to rip the heads off those betting against it, then shit down their necks.

In other news, I like [[FXP]] and [[SRS]] here. I must sound like a fucking broken car alarm. Quite honestly, as opposed to not-so-quite of a lie, I am sick of talking about my positions. Just know, I am on some sort of auto-pilot money making bonanza right now.

One big development, I have decided to sell out my entire [[AAPL]] position. I’ve been long the stock, since $50; but it’s time to move on.

If there is one thing, above all, “The Fly” wants to see a short squeeze, of mammoth proportions, in the shares of [[FTK]]. Come on losers. The stock is cheap and the amount of shares sold short is absurd.

Off to Dunkin’ Donuts, disguise (fake mustache) and all.

Developing…

[[FSLR]] is a fucking joke.

I’ve never seen insider selling this egregious.

The hits keep on coming.

Go get some cheese, yo.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-_IFAt8ka0 450 300]

I do not blog about the readings of my “calculator brain,” without caveat. While here, if you cannot control your infantile behaviour [sic], I will have to ask you to leave and dive into a cup of water.

Back to the market:

The financials were bloodied today, led by the “fortune cookie morons” at [[LEH]]. However, what really spooked investors was the sharp slide in [[JPM]].

If you are short the “Reverse Four Horsemen,” [[FHN]], [[FED]], [[CORS]] and [[DSL]], now may be a good time to take profits. As you know, I exist to talk shit and bank coin. My goal, as always, is to cut out the noise and focus on what is going to make me money.

I know a guy who wastes all of his time with charts, reading through regulatory filings, and consistently loses money, with his ridiculous picks—with reckless abandon.

On the other hand, there are guys like Ragin, who just look at a tape and can spit out winners, with “God-like” proficiency. As in sports, sometimes it doesn’t matter how much work you put in. If you don’t have it; you cannot bat cleanup.

This applies to many of you, “mountain fucking smores eaters.” Don’t try to be “The Fly.” You will only disappoint yourself and bankrupt your family.

All day, [[SRS]] and [[RIG]] charged higher. I really like that pair trade, long both. One would think, with all of the fire and brimstone being thrown at the housing market, commercial RE will, eventually, be affected. My bet, as always, is that SRS will print $120+, before August 1st.

On the short side, I still like FED here. However, if you’re uncomfortable holding it, cover immediately. Just know, the easy money on the downside has been made. Now, that doesn’t mean stocks will rip higher.

Quite the contrary.

Equity valuations are still stretched, factoring in the amount of writedowns and writeoffs that will have to be taken, within financial sector. In addition, the incredible amount of input costs, thanks to inflation, will hit home, eventually—poleaxing the industrials hard. Mark my words.

In the meantime, there is always a chance for a quick short squeeze, before the next leg down.

This is how “The Fly” is positioned:

Heavy positions in SRS, FXP and short CHL.

Minor trading positions in short FED and a variety of other egregiously overvalued banks/brokerages, like [[SUSQ]] and [[COWN]].

Long energy related names.

Big enough cash position to protect myself from a short squeeze or gap lower.

All in all, “The Fly” is pressing the envelope, now up more than 30%, year to date.

Top pick: Short CHL

Tech is dead. Look at [[GOOG]], [[BIDU]] and [[MSFT]]. Dead as dead can be. Dead as a dick stuck in a door.

I’ll have you know, this is nothing more, or less, than a summer malaise. No one has an interest in defending stock prices, while the temperature in NY is 100 degrees, the banks are lying/dying, and the beaches at the Hampton’s are open for business.

This should tell you something about your Godly host, “The Fly.”

Nothing keeps me away from the trading turret. Without a doubt, it will be the death of me, putting myself through so much anguish and nonsense. However, this is what I love to do. As a painter finds pleasure in combing colors and creating beauty, I like to kick old fuckers down stairwells, especially those in wheelchairs. But, I digress.

Let’s have a ball and bank profuse amounts of coin, while the sleepers sleep and the losers lose.

I can tell you, with the utmost amount of accuracy and frankness, Willie Randolph will be fired by the All-Star break and [[CHL]] will trade in the 50’s. These two “future facts” are not debatable nor can they be stopped.

As an aside, look for the oil barrel retards to start mounting another gay rally.

Crude to $150 and the Dow to 11,750, by July.