iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,179 Blog Posts

Extricated Myself from the Gillette Razor Racket

For thousands of years men have been shaving their faces with sharp blades. They cost next to nothing. Then in 1989 Gillette stopped making DE (doubled edged) razors in favor of their SHIT-BRAND disposable crap, accompanied by a marketing blitz that would change the face of men forever. Your Grandfather had it right and you’ve been brainwashed into believing spending $100 on replacement razors per quarter is normal. Fuck that.

I’ve always lamented the razor racket, having to pay fucking $40 for replaceable razors that were dull and cut my fucking face off when using them. Often times I’d avoid shaving, just because I hated the experience. Little did I know, I was being tricked and bamboozled into a brand of consumerism that is as ridiculous as it seems.

Nowadays, men shave their faces like morons, with this.


Absolute shit, absolutely

You wrestle with the fucking hard plastic casing, pull the fucker out, and shave your face as fast as possible, cutting and slicing the whole way. I sometimes feel like I need a blood transfusion after using one of those absolute fuckers.

Not too long ago I decided to investigate shaving and came across the DE razor again and decided to give it a whirl. First of all, the weapon is decidedly prettier.


INDEUD

Next, there is a ritualistic quality to it, unlike the rushed Gillette-Barbasol nonsense that we’ve been trained to adhere to. I bought some quality shaving cream (below), a god damned mixing cup, a brush, and some great aftershave lotion.


Not my faggot picture, fuck off

I’m not getting paid by any of the fuckers above, but tell you these things out of the kindness of my black heart. The net result will be, and believe me when I tell you this, a much closer shave, and infinitely more enjoyable experience. You have one fucking face — treat it good.

One thing of note, when using a DE razor, you cannot simply run the blade down your face like you would a Gilette. You’ll cut your face to ribbons like that. Might I suggest watching a short video on how to shave your face properly, using short strokes?

 

Thank me later.

Oh, did I mention the cost to shave your face just went down by 99%?

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6 comments

  1. CoinSpeak

    Couple of pointers from someone who switched to DE blades a few years ago:

    -Dollar club, shaving club and that place in the mall are ripoffs
    -Feather blades are stupid sharp requiring a very steady hand. Astras are easier to use.
    -You’ll need two passes. You won’t care because the experience is different / enjoyable.
    -Taylor of Old Bond Street are the soaps you should be buying.
    -I don’t do aftershaves but some people swear by the old school stuff. Don’t spend more than $15 on aftershave to start. Try the classics first.
    -You will feel your testosterone increase as you shave your exposed neck with a razor sharp enough to split hairs.
    -You can get into a full starter kit on Amazon that will be superior to the club brands.
    -Once you have a full kit and pack of razors you’ll be set for a year or more.

    You won’t go back to commercial rigs.

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  2. ferd

    Good …and much greener. Fewer baby seals will choke on plastic packaging as a result of this switch. Of course, getting deprogrammed so that you don’t feel compelled to scrape your face in the first place is greener still.

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  3. heckler

    I prefer to have my face shaved professionally when I can. The guys at my local gentleman’s barber shop do the hot shave so right.

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  4. chuck bennett

    I first use a double edge razor in China. Yes fucking China of all places. I still have it, I just need to get blades. I agree with Fly, it’s way better. For the last 4 years I’ve been stealing the free razors from my gym. Equinox is a high class expensive joint. I get my moneys worth.

    Regards

    Chuck Bennett

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