iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,904 Blog Posts

Markets Rise on Pending Trade War Victory

I should just pre-make these blogs in my blogging factory. I could have headlines made up and ready to go with the content predictably crafted.

Here are some headlines to try out.

*** DOW PLUNGES AFTER CHINA TRADE DEAL FUCKS ITSELF ***

*** DOW SOARS AFTER PRESIDENT TRUMP ANNOUNCES VICTORY OVER CHINA ***

*** DOW SLUMPS ON RUMORS OF CHINA TRADE WAR SNAG ***

*** DOW LAMBASTS HIGHER AFTER CHINA TRADE DEAL CEMENTED IN STONE ***

*** BULLS SWING FROM LAMP POSTS AFTER CHINESE RENEG ON CEMENTED TRADE DEAL ***

*** BEARS GUTTED AND DEVOURED AFTER TRADE DEAL CONFIRMED ***

I can literally write these all day, because trade wars are fun and easy to win.

Markets can fuck off now. I don’t have any interest in it until noon.

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7 comments

  1. numbersgame

    Directly from the muth of Wilbur Ross:
    “We think we’d like to make a deal if it’s the right deal — this will get made in all likelihood.”

    Who wouldn’t want to buy ATHs on that confidence?
    You have “if”, “think”, and “in all likelhood”. What a trifecta!

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  2. it is showtime

    Bears who said the indexes were vindictively programmed by 2015, not surprised at the “made to seem unending” additional leg

    Bears who wondered who is doing the buying and why would anyone be so emphatically buying above 2000s&p, very surprised

    ANNOUNCER VOICEOVER:
    this message is directed-directly at the index overseers, conveying a middle finger and a smirk and an A O K sign

    PRINTED ON SCREEN:
    youre merely dragging the bubble higher anyone with any common sense knows that

    VOICEOVER:
    youre merely making the system more vulnerable, when, change, comes
    which the B.I.S has signaled warnings on repeatedly on ” valuations “

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