18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,556 Blog Posts

Generous Trump Offers Exemptions From Tariffs on These Important Industries

Greetings lads.

Yes, this is a male blog only. If you happen to be of the female orientation, I would ask that you kindly become non-binary and identify as a thing in order to be welcomed here. Violators will be thrashed at the gibbet.

GOOD NEWS for tariff haters out there. Generous Trump lifted tariffs on the following industries.

Single-cup coffee filters, plastic straws, dog leashes, patio torches, Christmas lights and skateboards are among the products to be exempted from tariffs.

After all, those who do not use plastic straws are environmental “nut jobs” — global warming believers — ordinary morons who still believe we landed on the moon. Sounds preposterous — but it really isn’t.

Stocks aren’t doing much today — but bitcoins and other SHITCOINS are soaring. Are you fellows with mustaches and beards getting involved? BTW: I will soon grow a beard and begin lifting weights again, so the dress code here will change with my caprices. You will have to grow out a beard in order to visit iBankCoin in the future, so get it cracking.

For those of you who identify as non-binary and do not have the eternal fortitude to grow a beard, due to dastardly genetics, you will be asked to leave. I am very sorry — but you wouldn’t walk into a Michelin rated eatery dressed like a homeless man — would you?

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