iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,771 Blog Posts

The Social Graces at House Fly Continue to Impress!

The glamorous life at House Fly continues, dripping wonderfully into the summer sun like a moth into a hot flame.

After a full day of scrubbing and mopping, Le Fly exited his residence this morning in order to give license to a car filled of clowns to loiter inside of it with extreme circumspection. Upwards of 95% of these people are actually incapable or serious about buying homes — but rather find it amusing to tour homes and displace the occupants for the purposes of self-aggrandizement.

The issues with my large Mercedes truck continues, with malice.

The following have been diagnosed.

Timing chain
Busted gasket on centrifuge
Valve misfiring — spark plugs
Leaking coolant, oil
thumbnail CRACK on fucking windshield (NEW!)
brakes and rotors (NEW!)
Tires

Grande total to fix all of this shit is around $10k. No fucking problem.

My other car, after examination, has a FUCKING cracked windshield too. No idea how these things happen, but they do.

For the balance of this beautifully wonderful day, I shall remain caged inside of the manor, patiently awaiting another car filled with clowns to spill into my house and discuss its maladies. I’ve been informed that we mustn’t cavort outside today, in spite of the perfect weather, because we would, in fact, come back into the residence ‘smelling like horses.’ It’s important, I am told, to remain neutral smelling at all times — because the people inside of the clown cars prefer it that way.

To entertain myself, I might sit in front of the television and droll on for the next few hours, in true American spirit. I cannot, I am told, cook anything either, as it leaves a distinct non-neutral odor in the house, which clowns dislike. Ergo, I must nibble on grains and granola, maybe some nuts, in between my designated tasks.

As you bake your skin in the sun atop of flaming hot sand, Le Fly will be Ajaxing the floors and washing the walls — eating jelly sandwiches and drinking neutral flavored beverages in a neutral colored house, in a neutral fucking hell.

Good day.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

10 comments

  1. macpatton

    You know you say your are smart and rich? But, you live around New York and your moving to North Carolina; you own a Mercedes truck; you keep cleaning a house so you can sell it. So you do well in the market but it look like the common sense is way missing.
    So in my opinion you could remove some angst from your life by getting off the east coast; move to Colorado at least. Sell you european car/truck and get a Tundra and just keep lowering the price on your dirty house until it sells; you don’t need that extra 100k.

    • 1
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • heckler

      This fucker speak-a-da Truth ^^

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • ferd

      Advice worth considering. Of course coasts are great if you’re into the ocean and if you live right on, or in site of, the water.

      Anyway, I’ll be interested in Fly’s reporting on how he likes NC. He won’t be on the coast and he may experience some culture shock as he associates with natives who attend megachurches and with snowbirds and job transfers who have caused the Raleigh area to grow with all the recency, charm and culture of a shopping mall.

      • 0
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
    • Dr. Fly

      What a reprobate you truly are. You must’ve been raised by a pack of gorillas.

      • 1
      • 0
      • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  2. metalleg

    Your auto insurance policy should provide for free windshield replacement. With most cars, they can do it at your home but with cars with the 360° cameras, you’ll need to take the car into a shop for a few hours. Still free though.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  3. 99 lead balloons
    99 lead balloons

    If you are eligible with enough points and pass a medical, you are welcome to come to Vancouver, Canada.

    You will likely need to spend 5 years in Saskatchewan or Newfoundland first to meet immigration requirements. You may take to the Newfoundland culture.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  4. tradercaddy

    Would be no problem (except for tires and brakes) if you went all electric.
    For 10k you would be that much closer to a tesla. They are building out a nice network of superchargers across the USA.
    I would think Princeton, NJ would be a good real estate market ( although anybody who has Princeton Univ. smarts would know to get out of Jersey)

    • 1
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  5. roguewave

    Buyers are liars, the saying goes.
    Presumably these knuckle-draggers parading through your house have been pre-qualified.

    PS Really having a great time with my new toy – my new bb gun. Still working to find the range though. I’m not sure if I’m undershooting or overshooting the targets placed at the back of my property, not far from the road to the Princeton Library.

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"
  6. the hungry dog

    Fly, It’s not too late to relocate to Austin Texas, The land of Milk and Honey. Close to the coast but not close enough to feel the rage of hurricanes. The Live Music capital of the good old USA. BBQ & Mexican food heaven. Also, we have enough Bleeding Heart Liberals down here to keep you happy and pickup trucks are easy and cheap to buy. God Bless America! God Bless Texas!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"