iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,759 Blog Posts

BREAKING: The Fed Dropped the Word “Patient” From Their Written Statement

Good news everyone — The Federal Reserve removed the word “patient” from their statement — implying they might cut interest rates with markets at record fucking highs. This makes all the sense in the world and I hope President Trump is pleased with Jerome Powell now. We really need the market to run higher by another 10,000 points, else I don’t know we’ll all do with ourselves.

This is the world we’re in now, parsing through the statements of assholes for the express purposes of extreme profit. We will take these gains and buy jet planes and cocaine, and hookers, and gold watches — merrily swimming in a sea of nothing towards the grave — bobbing and weaving the whole time with high powered attorneys and accountants to increase our worth and moat — hoping to die before the IRS gets a chance to figure it all out.

What a life!

The Federal Open Market Committee voted 9-1 to keep the benchmark rate in a target range of 2.25% to 2.5%.
The action sets up a possible confrontation between Fed Chairman Jerome Powell and President Donald Trump, who has been pressuring the Fed to cut rates.

The Fed dropped the word “patient” to describe its approach to policy.

The central bank also left the door open somewhat to future cuts.

Eight members favor one cut this year while the same number voted in favor of the status quo and one still wants a rate hike.

This is what you wanted — isn’t it? Gold is pressing the fuck higher and bond yields sinking again. I can feel the anxiety in the pit of my stomach — short sellers sweating it out in a white knuckled panic, wondering the meaning of life. I have a clue for you. We’re in a period of effervescent progress and nothing can stop it. You can try — but you’ll fail. We have a warrior class of people in charge of America now and they’re only interested in growth and higher stocks. The second the market trends sideways — BAM! they do something to get the electricity generated again.

I got boned on my pick from yesterday and sold CHWY for a 5% overnight loss. I will try my hand at this shit again.

I’m quite pleased with the progress in the olde man sector, however. I own a fuckload of value and that’s the place to be with the incredible shrinking yield curve in effect.

Signing off now. Fuck off.

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14 comments

  1. J Adabese (your pen pal)
    J Adabese (your pen pal)

    Hmmm

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  2. ferd

    Combining “old man” and “investment-grade”-rated junk, bought NWL at close. No charge Dr.

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    • moosh

      Ooohh, a thought provoking comment with an actual stock idea, on an actual stock blog…what a concept. Thesis being homy sales?

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  3. roguewave

    It seems insane to be short in this environment.

    ot
    tuur crypto
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsxiRBN2rRU

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  4. irma vep

    Are you people as drunk as I am? Please type english.

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  5. it is showtime

    Showtime is now
    the driver of
    a 9-9-7 model
    manual transmission
    black Porsche

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  6. dragun

    LMAO .. love the pic associated with the post !!!

    Then she tells the principal .. “have them stand in line like perps so she can identify who put their pecker through the hole”

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    • irma vep

      Say what! I’m sure it’s the shredded pecker with the fang marks.

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  7. spaceman

    Gold’s pushing 1370 another 10 to go! This is the year!

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  8. irma vep

    The fireflys are like twinkie lights in the backyard tonight. It’s so beautiful. As beautiful as the view from 21st Street, looking east to Rittenhouse Square, at sunset. Humans can create something as beautiful as the Grand Canyon.

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    • roguewave

      Very nice, but comparing it to the grand canyon seems a bit of a stretch.

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  9. irma vep

    The Best: https://youtu.be/i6n8VyqaCQ4

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