iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,428 Blog Posts

Your Fate Will Be Decided Shortly

I had another gay day at the office, sustained by infuriating losses in YELP. I do not wish to talk about it right now.

Nothing else matters but AAPL’s quarterly report.

Popcorn time.

 

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58 comments

  1. xxxHuggieBearxxx
    xxxHuggieBearxxx

    I am nervous.

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    • drummerboy

      take 2 m&m’s and call me in the morning,not the brown ones either.

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    • xxxHuggieBearxxx
      xxxHuggieBearxxx

      they crushed, as usual. lets see guidance.

      but guidance shouldn’t matter, because they always guide soft.

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      • drummerboy

        todays red was just a road house stop,it had to get a burger and a beer and mess with the options chain for laughs before it goes on it’s conquest….up.

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      • Mark

        Guidance was light, but nobody believes them anyway.

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  2. Rhino

    My testes are getting squeezed within a vise.

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  3. dave

    AAPL

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTF-5EvjHJQ

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  4. mike

    aapl is a buy either way…if you own it buy more…if you dont ..be ready..this could be your last chance

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  5. mike

    12.30 eps 39B revs…blowout…up 25!!

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  6. noodleboy

    lets all just worship apple because it will save us

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  7. dave

    AAPL good for now. Margin compression next quarter? Who knows?

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  8. Mr. Cain Thaler

    Question of the day: who’s buying AAPL, and why are they buying?

    I would love to see the stock give back everything before the open.

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    • Mark

      Who else can deliver growth like that?

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    • Mad_Scientist

      Who buys any stock? It seems like apple has a unique subset of haters. If any other company put up a report like this, would the reaction be anything like this from the naysayers? I don’t get it. Guess everyone likes to root against the frontrunner.

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  9. @crazyfasteddy

    thank you Senor Tropicana… you are a scholar and a gentleman– your random musings are by far your most ingenius ideas for banking coin; even on the hint of putting capital towards AAPL on a sharp blowout got me to go in on the dip… enjoying lines of blow atop escorts now…

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  10. OG

    Just wait till the iPhone 5 hits.

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  11. pitbull

    perfect timing on buying today Sir ! you’ll be UP again !

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  12. stockboss

    I want to buy yelp in the 18s or 19s Fuck steve harvey

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  13. Rhino

    Winning!

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  14. dave

    There is a distribution of assets/resources in our finite world. It could be summarized by the Poisson Distribution on a global or local scale. The “civilized” world has enjoyed the benefits of bringing demand forward since World War 2. Now it is time to pay the piper.

    Everyone left alive will lament.

    You can’t escape. The only regret you can have is that you will not die soon.

    Hold on to your fiat and equities. You all are bagholders and fools.

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    • Mad_Scientist

      Meanwhile, you’ll keep holding onto your peter and your tuna cans?

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    • Mike

      what the fuck are you talking about “bagholders”?? you a BAGLICKER!!!

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  15. Bullish

    Why is everyone so quiet tonight? Can’t speak with that Apple lodged in your throat?

    Seriously, why would you bet against this monster over and over?

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  16. heaterman

    How come?……

    Apple reports $11B+ in profit for the quarter and everyone cheers.

    If an oil company reported the same everyone would say, “They’re screwing us!!”

    Apple is not?

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